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Formally Coming Out
By
BowTied

Formally Coming Out

Tags: gay, wedding

Going from a regular straight guy to a groom at my gay wedding in very short order.

I spent my entire life dating women, some very beautiful women. None of these relationships led to marriage. They'd last for a year, maybe two, and then end, pretty much always them dumping me.

Working in banking, I was daily dressed to the nines, typically in three-piece suits, heavily-starched shirts, usually but not always white, and bow ties. I'd been wearing bow ties exclusively since the start of high school. I went to Catholic high school, where the guys had to wear ties. I chose to make mine bow ties. My mother was happy about it, having a son who wanted to be that dressed up. She was an attorney, always in very conservative, prim-and-proper skirt suits and buttoned-up blouses. So with high school started my suited, buttoned-up, bow tied signature look. Pretty much with the beginning of college, I got my first banking job, so I was working all day in a downtown bank branch, in my suits and bow ties, then going straight to the university for evening classes.

So after years of working my way up in banking, and years of failed relationships with a variety of women, I would hear on occasion from my mother or sister, "When are you going to marry one of these women?" I always expected a wedding in my future, to a beautiful bride wearing a bridal gown and veil, in a church. Never seemed like it was going to happen, but I expected it was an eventuality.

Then one day Todd started working in the department next to mine. The first week, the week right after Thanksgiving, he wore suits and regular ties. After that first week, however, he showed up on Monday wearing a bow tie. After that, every day he'd wear bow ties. I found out later that he was trying to catch my eye. It worked! We ran into each other in the break room the middle of that first week, and I said, "I guess I'm not the only bow tied guy around here." We started talking. By the end of that week, I suggested lunch. So that Friday we went out to lunch together. By the time we got back from lunch, I'd suggested dinner that evening at this pretty nice Italian place called Maggiano's. So after work, we went to Maggiano's. We probably got a few looks, two professional-looking guys both in suits and bow ties, but we had a nice dinner. Leaving the restaurant, I was taken a little by surprise when I felt Todd's arm slip through mine. I was like, "GULP!" I said, "Want to take a walk by the water?" Todd said, "Yeah, sure!" It was a nice, cool evening, chilly even, but in our three-piece suits and bow ties we were quite comfortable. We drove to the riverwalk and took a walk. As soon as we got out of the car, Todd's arm was through mine once more. We walked along, arm-in-arm, making small talk. Finally, we stopped, and we stopped talking. We looked at each other, and suddenly, I found myself drawing Todd closer. Our eyes closed, our lips came together, and we shared our first kiss. It was kind of pecky and tentative at first, then melted into a longer, deeper, romantic kiss. We found a bench and sat, and spent the next half-hour or so kissing some more. 

The next couple of weeks leading up to Christmas we had romantic dinners several more times. One evening included going to the orchestra, a very nice, romantic evening. A few days after Christmas, we went back to Maggiano's, and then the riverwalk afterward. We ended up on the same bench on which we'd spent our first "makeout session." I didn't have anything planned. What happened next kind of just happened. After kissing for a while, we'd pulled apart. We were kind of adjusting each other's bow ties, and suddenly I found myself saying, "I want you to be my groom and I want us to be wed. Will you marry me?"

His eyes widened and it seemed like he was unable to breathe for a few seconds. He teared up a bit before saying, "YES! I want that too!" We kissed again for what seemed a long time. Finally, he said, "So, what do we do? I guess we're engaged!"

"I guess we are, and I guess we have to have a wedding!"

"What kind of wedding?" he asked.

"A real wedding!" I said. "I mean a formal, romantic wedding!" In the back of my mind was the thought that, here I'd just proposed, and he'd said yes, but there was the risk that if there was any foot-dragging that I'd end up talking myself out of it. I said, "First, there's one thing we have to do." We got up and went back to the car. A little while later, we arrived at my mother's house. It so happened that my sister was there. They didn't even know I was seeing anyone, especially not another guy. My relationship with my last girlfriend had ended months ago. So we walk in, both of us in our suits and bow ties. I introduced Todd to my mother and sister, then I said, "I've asked Todd to be my groom. We're going to be wed." 

There was some initial shock, it goes without saying. Once they caught their breath, both my mother and sister were happy for us. A couple of evenings later, Todd and I were sitting down with the lady pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church. Things seemed to happen at an accelerated pace after that. Invitations went out. Seems like the next thing I knew, Todd and I were standing in our tuxedoes and bow ties, arm-in-arm, in the back of the Metropolitan Community Church, waiting for the organist to start playing The Wedding March. Then we were walking slowly down the aisle in front of almost 200 people, pretty much everyone I knew, and being wed as groom and groom. In barely three months I'd gone from being regular straight guy to being a groom at his gay wedding!

 

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