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Lucy's Secondhand Wand

Lucy's Secondhand Wand

Tags: wand, toes

Lucy puts a previously owned magic wand to the test.

Lucy found the magic wand at a garage sale. It was obviously used and the asking price was two dollars.

“How do I know if it really works?” she asked the man behind the table.

“You drive a hard bargain there, missy,” he replied. “I’ll give it to you for a dollar, but not a penny less.”

For a dollar she figured she couldn’t go wrong, so she bought it.

When Lucy got home she thought she’d use the wand to turn her mother’s minivan into a rhinoceros. Lucy was, after all, very fond of animals.

Lucy pointed the wand at the vehicle and chanted, “Ringy ba dingy, fungy ba dungy, not a dino, rather a rhino!” The minivan’s muffler sputtered some, but the minivan remained a minivan.

“What a waste of a perfectly good dollar,” she muttered.

Walking through the garage, she noticed her brother’s bicycle. Of course the wand didn’t work on the minivan. It was too big, but her brother’s bicycle was just the right size. She’d turn it into a cheetah.

Spinning around twice, she pointed the wand at the bicycle and yelled, “Ringy ba dingy, fungy ba dungy, not a pita, rather a cheetah!” The bicycle fell to the ground, but nothing more.

Lucy had a mind to throw the old wand into a nearby garbage can, but she didn’t.

That night after dinner, Lucy sat on her bed and began painting her toe nails with the nail polish she had borrowed from her mother without permission. Then it hit her. Even the bicycle had been too big for the old wand. The trick was to focus on small objects, and her toes were just the right size.

So she pointed the magic wand at the smallest toe on her left foot and chanted, “Ringy ba dingy, fungy ba dungy, not a cantaloupe, rather an antelope!”

And lo and behold, where there once was her little toe was now a little antelope gazing up at her with tiny eyes! It had a small head, little horns and two front legs. As its body was connected to her foot, it had no hind legs.

Though beside herself with excitement, Lucy kept her cool and focused on the next toe. She uttered magic words, much as before, and zapped the next toe, and it turned into a hyena! It had straggly hair on its back, strong little jaws, and two front legs. Like the antelope, its body was attached to her foot.

Within the next few minutes, the antelope and hyena were joined by a zebra, a lion and an elephant. Barely able to contain herself Lucy put the magic wand on her night stand. It started to roll off, so she stuck the wad of cherry gum she was chewing onto the tip of the wand so it would stay on the nightstand.

What fun Lucy had with her new friends that evening! She showed them her stuffed animal collection, which they all enjoyed until the hyena tore a hole in her favorite teddy bear. She played a memory game with them, but they all got bored of the elephant winning all the time.

Lucy was about to show the animals her new collection of beads when she noticed the lion hungrily eyeing the antelope. So she snuck down to the kitchen and got some food: a drumstick for the hyena, bean sprouts for the elephant and antelope, raw chopped meat for the lion and oatmeal for the zebra.

Eventually Lucy got tired and decided it was time to say goodbye to her friends. She took the gum off the wand, pointed the wand at the elephant, uttered her magic words and… nothing happened. She tried it again, only this time trying with the antelope, and still nothing happened. This went on for half an hour. As time went on, Lucy got more and more nervous, which probably didn’t help the cause.

“I must be tired,” thought Lucy. She decided to get some sleep and try the wand in the morning. As she got under the covers, her parents came in to wish her goodnight. Just then, of course, the lion decided to let out a big roar.

“Are you alright, dear?” asked Lucy’s mother.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Lucy replied. “My stomach’s just a bit upset. I’m sure I’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”

Needless to say, Lucy did not get a good night’s sleep. The zebra pounded its hooves against the mattress all night. The antelope kept getting its little horns caught in the sheets. The elephant was afraid of the dark, so Lucy turned on her reading light, at which point the hyena began to yelp at it. Only the lion slept soundly.

Lucy finally fell asleep about five minutes before her mother woke her up. She dragged herself out of bed. The first thing she did was try the magic wand, but to no avail – it simply would not work. She put the useless wand in her backpack.

“That is positively the last time I buy anything from a garage sale,” she vowed.

Lucy got dressed. Of course, the animals were not too pleased about the whole socks and shoes thing, so Lucy cut a slit at the toe of her sock and wore sandals.

She came down to join her brother for breakfast.

“I hope your stomach is feeling better, since I prepared you a big breakfast,” announced her father.

“I could eat an elephant,” Lucy replied. The elephant looked up with a worried expression, and Lucy winked at him.

Actually, Lucy wasn’t hungry at all, but her little friends were, so she secretly threw them her breakfast. The lion roared his approval of the waffles.

Hearing what he thought was a growling stomach, Lucy’s father asked, “Are you quite sure you’re feeling well enough to go to school?”

“I feel just great!” responded Lucy, pounding her chest like a gorilla. The animals and her brother gave her a funny look.

The walk to school took a bit longer than usual. The hyena wanted to chase every squirrel in sight, and the elephant wanted to bathe in every puddle.

The first class of the day was math, Lucy’s least favorite subject. But for a change, it wasn’t too bad. Her little elephant was a whiz at numbers and helped Lucy out with the answers.

“Well done, Lucy!” said Mr. Thomas, the math teacher, as Lucy got another one right.

The elephant replied with a loud hoot.

“Excuse me?” said Mr. Thomas.

Lucy quickly put a tissue to her nose and honked loudly. “Just a little cold,” she said.

During science class the animals started to get hungry. Lucy tried to give them some of her snack, but none of the animals liked her peanut butter and cucumber sandwich. A cacophony of hoots, howls, brays and roars rose up from the general direction of Lucy’s foot, inviting unwanted attention.

Fortunately, Ms. Davis, the science teacher, saved the day. She started talking about how so many animals are becoming extinct, and hearing this Lucy’s animals lost their appetite.

“Lunch will perk you guys up,” Lucy said to the animals as they headed down to the cafeteria. Though Lucy usually enjoyed eating with her real school friends, she decided it best if she kept to herself that day. She quietly fed her little friends meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas under the table.

The rest of the day passed well enough, except for when Jamie, the class bully, started to shove Lucy in the hallway. Fortunately, the hyena was so upset by this he bit Jamie on the shin, sending her howling down the hall.

By the end of the day, Lucy was beat and not a little worried. What was she going to do? She loved her little friends, but she couldn’t live with them her whole life. If fact, she couldn’t imagine another hour with them!

Walking home, she passed the office of Dr. Schwartz, the veterinarian, and went in. Once in the examination room, she showed Dr. Schwartz her foot.

“Umm, curious,” he said, as he began to examine each of the animals.

“Well, there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with your little pets, except for your elephant, who has a sinus infection,” he said.

“But you don’t understand,” Lucy said. “I want these animals to go away!” She told him the whole story about the magic wand.

“Ummm, this is out of my league,” Dr. Schwartz said, stroking his beard, as he fed the animals some crackers. “You need to see a magician. Why don’t you visit Josephine down the street?”

So Lucy left for Josephine, but not before first taking the antibiotic for the elephant.

Lucy walked down the street until she saw a sign that read, “Josephine’s Grocery and Sorcery.” She entered the grocery, which had all the appearance of a regular grocery store, except for the floating fruits. In the back of the store, she found Josephine working on an old lamp.

Lucy showed Josephine her foot and told her all about the wand. Josephine listened and nodded, all the while feeding the little animals some raisins.

“Let me take a look at the wand,” said Josephine.

Josephine tried out the wand in any number of ways, using a variety of spells, but nothing worked. She then examined the wand carefully, squinting as she looked. Putting the wand to her nose she said, “Is this cherry I smell?”

She felt the tip, and said, “Ummm, sticky, like gum. Cherry gum. Say, did you by chance put cherry gum on the tip of the wand?”

Lucy nodded.

“Well, there’s your problem. You have to keep the tip of a wand absolutely clean,” Josephine lectured. She wiped off the wand’s tip with some alcohol, pointed the wand at Lucy’s toes, said a few quick spells, and Poof! just like that, all the animals were gone. Lucy was relieved, though a bit sorry, to see her friends go.

“Now, let’s get down to the business of a little girl using a magic wand,” Josephine said. “You know, you’re far too young to be playing around with something like this. I tell you what. I’ll give you $10.00 for the wand.”

Lucy, who was thinking of all the things she could buy with $10.00, did not answer Josephine.

“Alright there, you drive a hard bargain, I’ll give you $20.00, but not a penny more,” Josephine said.

Lucy accepted and left the grocery store with a fresh twenty dollar bill in hand.

She walked down the street, determined to go straight home. On her way she passed a thrift store and what did she see outside the store but a bin filled with rolled up carpets and a sign that read, “Previously Owned Magic Carpets – Only $20.00 Each!!!”

Lucy stopped, looked at the carpets, eyed her $20.00 bill, looked at the carpets again. She took one step towards the thrift store… and then, thinking better of it, she headed home for a nap.

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © Copyright for all stories submitted by QuirkyStories belongs to D. Benjamin Baskin. This copyright extends to any original characters featured in stories submitted by QuirkyStories. Please consult with author if you wish to incorporate any QuirkyStories story in a publication or compilation, adapt it to another format or media, or profit by it in any manner.

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