Cleaning the window frames with a bicarbonate and vinegar mix as I do every Thursday, keeps my neighbourhood safe. Saves the faffing of EVERYONE ringing the council if the dustbin men don’t arrive. George was a heavy smoker back in the day and I proudly adhere to keeping appearances up- old habits die hard.

“George! Some fella is at the door!”

”Are you listening? Stop copping a deaf un! Quick! Grab some kitchen roll or something, be useful and don’t stare. I can’t have you seen as a nosey neighbour.”