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"True experiences from using my alias"

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Using a nom de cinema or nom de plume can sometimes be a real pain in the butt. I once did a Halloween appearance at a large Girl Scout party, and they paid me with a check made out to Count Dracula. Try cashing that check and not have the bank manager and teller give you a strange look. Thankfully they allowed me to endorse it and it was deposited into my account.

I did not start out desiring to use an alter ego. Here is how it started. I was attempting to become established in the broadcasting community. I had already done some radio spots, but when I would call on radio stations that knew me for more work and used my full name I always drew a blank, when I added that I'm the guy that does the Dracula commercials, then they remembered.

When CB radio became popular I kept using Dracula or Drac as a "handle," and the name stuck, but it was not until after my first stage appearance as Dracula that I realized how much it stuck. The mayor of a very upscale suburb here who saw the performance had invited me to come on and talk to him about becoming a police officer in his city, as that was my career goal.

When I gave my name to his secretary, I got the standard question of, "Do you have an appointment?" When I said, "No, just tell him Dracula is here," I got a very strange look, but she did as I requested. I was shown in back immediately after she got off the intercom phone with him.

So I accepted the nickname, and it allowed me to meet a lot of luminaries in the broadcasting community, and like I said, they always seemed to remember the nickname.
 
Storytime: A good friend of mine was due to undergo back surgery and would not be able to work for three months. His bosses were in a panic as a replacement would be hard to find and they didn't want to work the second employee to death in the meantime. The job was to deliver rental cars to businesses and residences.

You simply hooked up an old VW bug to the rear of the rented car using a temporary tow bar system. Once the vehicle was signed for you simply unhooked the bug and returned to the dealership, not exactly rocket science. So my buddy Gene said he had a friend that was unemployed, and if you paid him under the table he would cover his time away and not pitch a fit when he returned.

I came in for an interview and they liked me and I was hired. Gene spent less than a month training me, then he was gone and I was on my own. My time in the office was most enjoyable as they had just hired an absolute gorgeous brunette named Char. We all chatted in between deliveries, and I regaled them with stories of the Haunted House and some of the people I knew in the radio broadcasting industry, I don't think they believed me.

One day they mentioned that a very well known part time radio host as well as a very popular, well liked and well read constant caller to the talk stations, nicknamed "The Vicious Piranha," was a good friend of the dealership owner and them.

"I suppose you know him also?" the boss asked.

"Yes, I know him, and he knows me," I responded.

Well it would happen that a week or two later that "Vish," as he liked to be called, happened to come into the dealership, and of course stopped in visit his friends in the rental department.

"We have a friend of yours working for us," my boss stated.

"Really? Who?" Vish asked. They said my name and he responded with, "I don't know anyone by that name."

They were overjoyed as they had figured they had finally caught me in a lie, and I was paged to report to the office. As soon as I walked in the door, Vish stood and said, "That's not Dan, that's Count Dracula!" The stunned looks on the faces of my co-workers and bosses were priceless.

Vish then proceeded to tell some of the same stories I had told, filling in some detail that I had neglected. My bosses were impressed, so was Char, but that is another story.

Yes, using a nom de plume can be a pain in the butt. Sometimes it is worth it.

Published 
Written by The_Count
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