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Wedding DJ 3

"More stories from some of the best receptions I played."

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If those involved in planning the reception have a touch of imagination and a flair for theatrics, it can make for an enjoyable and oft time humorous experience for all involved.

I was at one reception and the guests had just been seated for dinner, it was time for the best man's toast. However before he could begin he is interrupted by the Father of the Bride. He addresses the crowd, "Before we begin I have a request", he started, "Now that Bethany is married will all the men that have a key to her apartment over my garage please return them".

Suddenly all the males in the room, both young and old, leave their seats and drop off a single key in front of the Bride's place at the table. Everyone including the Bride is laughing so hard they have tears, then suddenly the doors to the reception room open and an old man on a walker enters and slowly makes his way to the bridal table.

Upon reaching the table he reaches into his jacket pocket and removes a key and places it in front of the bride. He then places his hand on his heart and issues a long heartbroken sigh and turns to exit. As he moves toward the exit he is making weeping sounds with every step he takes, the laugher is deafening.

The laughter dies down and best man stands to deliver his toast, and this time he is interrupted by the Father of the Groom. "Excuse me, but this is important," he says addressing the crowd, many of which are still chuckling. "The Holiday Inn on State Route 21 called and requested that all the ladies that had duplicate keys made to the room that Ken frequently used to please return them."

Every female in the room rises and brings a single key and drops them in front of the Groom. Again the doors to the reception room open and an old woman in a wheelchair pushes herself to the Grooms place. She places a single key in front of him, and then from under her coat she produces a pair of white silk boxers, these too are also placed in front of him. She blows him a kiss, wheels about and exits.

The woman has just cleared the doors when a very effeminate looking male enters and minces his way to the bridal table with an exaggerated movement of his hips. He reaches into his jacket and produces a key and drops it in front of the Groom.

Before departing he steps in front of the Bride, rummages around in his purse and produces a white silk thong. As he tosses them at her he says, "Here, he liked them on me." He then scurries out of the room.

Everyone is laughing so hard that the best man's toast is postponed until after dinner.

Biker receptions can also be a great deal of fun. Simply because those in attendance are less inhibited and without the aid of alcohol, unlike most reception guests. I played at one reception where the entire wedding party, including the parents of the bride and groom arrived on Harley Davidson's. Now my boss knew that I would be a good fit, as these are my kind of folks

He also decided to have a little fun at my expense. I had been dating this woman and things got serious, when she stated that she had always dreamed of owning a house that she could decorate as she wanted, I practically gave away a vintage Harley to come up with a down payment. We were not even engaged yet.

She stayed less than 3 months before moving out, leaving me with a house and no bike. My boss did not go into the details, but told the bikers that I was a Harley rider that was temporarily without a bike, and to give me the business.

So throughout the cocktail hour members of the wedding party would approach me and say things like, "Hey Drac, here's the keys, go for a quick ride, we heard you use to ride.", or "Hey Drac, wanna go checkout my new Glide?" On it went on until it was time to welcome the guests, introduce myself and start dinner.

"Good evening everyone, I am Dan Logan from BCE entertainment". I then paused for a moment. "OK." I said raising my voice an octave and adding infliction to show internal outrage, "I gave away my Harley to buy my girlfriend a house and then the bitch left me, ya happy."

The cheer I received from all in attendance was deafening. I was tipped enough to make a serious contribution in the required down payment for a new bike.

People that know how to have fun usually do.

Published 
Written by The_Count
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