WHAT A PARADOXICAL WORD. Vast, yet simple. Hugely unimaginable to give to someone in some situations, yet so easy to bestow in others. And is it right to say; I can forgive you, but not them? Can we indeed CHOOSE forgiveness, or must it just come naturally?
Personally, I think that there are no rules, and that every situation is different. I also think that sometimes it's enough just to understand and accept why something has happened, without needing to forgive a person who has hurt you. We can also work towards forgiving a situation. These are very personal choices and there is no right or wrong way to go.
And then there's self-forgiveness. What if we don't feel that we deserve it? What do we do then? Can we really move forward without it? I believe that we can only get so far before the self-punishment pain we are holding within ourselves for the mistakes we've made, catches up with us, manifesting in all kinds of ways in our lives. We are the only ones who can offer ourselves this gift. The only ones who can release ourselves from our distress.
So whether the issue is forgiving another, or ourselves, the question you need to be asking is; what do you REALLY want?