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Rollercoaster

"Take it away..."

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"With these tears, I cried... Lord knows, I tried... And how can I let go when you dwell in the shadows of my heart?" -Shadows of My Heart by Halestorm.


This rollercoaster.

I'm so tired of it.

I'm so exhausted, 

I want it gone.

It won't leave me alone-

why won't it leave me alone?

This pain, oh this pain,

it hides in the dark depths

and comes out when I'm weak,

when I'm tired or hungry or just lonely,

and it washes over me

like flames lick a marshmallow,

burning it.

I'm squishy, I'm so squishy-

do guys like that?

All I see are the supermodels

and skinny magazine girls,

do real guys fantasize about a girl like me,

or just the guys in my stories?

This is why I escaped to books so often-

I could be the character for a time, 

and the guy would love me.

Why do you find me beautiful?

I'm so squishy... I'm so fat...

How can you find me gorgeous?

I don't see it, please show me...

Oh God, I'm doing it again,

I'm feeling it again,

Oh, make it stop,

take it away,

the pain... 

I can hear so many things right now.

All I really want to hear is your love,

why can't I just hear your love

instead of all these words...

all these stabbing words...

And out of them comes a cry,

All I want is to be pretty!

Why can't I be pretty?!

Why am I so fat?

Why am I so ugly?

Oh...

please take it away.

Get me off this rollercoaster,

I'm so tired, so exhausted,

please help me off it...

and onto stable ground.

"I need you to know, I'm not through the night. Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light... Together we'll make it through somehow." -Courage by Superchic(K)

Published 
Written by Colors_of_the_Wind
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