One day a married businessman
Thought of everything he had
There was only one thing missing
and that was a lovely pet

So he strolled down to the petshop
Where a parrot caught his eye
Without legs it still sat firmly
And that made him wonder why

When he asked the bird what held him
Without legs upon that stick
The smart parrot said: "My thingy
wraps around and that's the trick"

"And I'm also quite a speaker
Both in English and in Dutch
If you went ahead and bought me
Surely you'd enjoy me much"

Didn't take a lot of thinking
For he thought the bird was nice
With the shopkeeper he hassled
To negotiate a price

In the weeks and months that followed
Ev'ryone around agreed
That the bird was a sensation
Pleasant company indeed

He was nice to all that met him
And would chat with girls and blokes
He could talk 'bout almost ev'rything
Knew an awful lot of jokes

All the people really liked him
And he never made a mess
So everyone around agreed
The bird was a success

And then one day the man came home
And the parrot whispered: "Hey!
Though I hate to be the one to tell
There's something I must say"

"That handsome mailman came around
With mail, the other day
And your lovely wife came to the door
In her thinnest négligé"

"She dragged him in and kissed his mouth
And opened up his shirt
While he explored her with his hands
And he lifted up her skirt"

"And then?" the man said, "tell me all"
But the bird said "saw no more
For I really got excited then
And I fell down to the floor"