Penelope tightened the last bolt, checked the wiring one last time then typed the coordinates into the typesetter. She watched the gyrosphere spin as the steam engine pumped the pistons faster and faster. The whirl of the spinning cogs reached fever pitch. She was tempted to pull the handle and let the machine kick in and take her off but at the last second, she pulled the Abort lever and let the machine slowly settle into idling mode.

Augustus glanced up from his writing desk.

“Is it all working?”

Penelope wiped her hands on a rag and straightened up.

“Yes, Sir. Everything seems to be primed and ready to go. You just need to make sure the emergency direction override dial is set to ‘Off’ before you release the brake. It’s a bit wobbly and keeps slipping.”

“Wonderful. You are such a treasure, Penelope.” Augustus walked towards the machine and patted her on the back. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Penelope blushed, lowering her eyes and staring at the floor.

“I’ve got my speech all ready. I’m sure the chaps at the Royal Physics Academy will be amazed at my invention. Who’d have thought it, eh? Augustus Midgeley inventing time travel. The 1890s really are a magical age.”

“Yes, Sir,” Penelope seethed. The village idiot hardly knew one end of a sprocket set from the other but she was enough of a realist to know that no woman would be allowed to build something like this, so she had to make do with hiding in his shadow.

“Well, you’d better make yourself scarce. They will be here in a minute.”

“Yes, sir. Good luck, sir.”

She left and Augustus waited until the fellows of the Academy were assembled.

“Gentlemen may I present...” He whipped the tarpaulin away. “My time machine!”

The assembled gentlemen gasped at the beautiful brass machine. The whole contraption was the size of a small wardrobe. The seat was upholstered in a deep maroon velvet and the pistons slid in and out gracefully as the steam engine idled. There were three light bulbs flickering on the control panel above a brass panel constructed out of what looked like a typewriter.

“Have you tried it out yet? Does it work?”

The crowd turned to watch as Sir David Hetherington strode forward towards the machine.

“Um, well no.” Augustus ran his fingers through his tousled brown hair. 

Sir David pointed the end of his cane at the bulbs.

“What are the bulbs for?”

Augustus rolled his fingers through the end of his moustache as he beamed with smug pride.

“The bulbs show the state of the machine. White means it is idling. When it is starting up, the bulbs will turn green in order. When the third bulb turns green, the machine will travel.”

He smiled as he looked at the admiring gaze of the onlookers.

“When they turn red, we are arriving. Once the third turns red, we are at our destination.”

“And how do you know what your destination is?” 

This time, it was the waspish voice of Sir Chrispin Wittering.

“I type the destination using the typesetter.” Augustus paused, surveying the room. “Would you gentlemen like a quick demonstration?”

There was a murmur of excitement. The gentlemen of the Royal Physics Academy liked nothing more than a concrete example of the ingenuity of the British male. Man’s ability to grapple with the unknown and tame and civilise it was what had made the Empire so great.

“How far into the future shall I go?” Augustus enquired. “Are you prepared to wait five minutes?”

“I’m sure we could wait that long,” Sir David chuckled.

The men crowded around as Augustus climbed in and typed his destination into the machine just like Penelope had shown him. The brass keys clicked as the ribbon flowed into the machine. Augustus carefully entered the 4-dimensional coordinates.

Satisfied he had entered everything correctly, he stood up and saluted the crowd. Penelope watched with bated breath through a crack in the door. She hoped he would manage to enter them correctly. She had done every test programming and worried that Augustus with his usual cavalier attitude would manage to mess it up.

Augustus pulled on his long cream travelling coat and tightened the belt. With his tartan tam o’shanter on his head, he adjusted the flying goggles and grinned. Saluting the crowd, he sat in the armchair and pulled the control lever.

The pistons moved, the flywheels spun and the hopper whirled. Steam billowed from tiny gaps in the brass exhaust pipes as the pistons pumped faster and faster. A whistle blew as the pistons reached maximum velocity, the lightbulbs turned green one by one. As the third bulb turned green, there was a bang of acrid black smoke.

When the noise and the smoke cleared, there was a gasp from the assembled throng. The stage was empty. Penelope gripped the door frame tighter as she counted the seconds in her head. She watched the doddery old men walk up onto the stage and look around at the space that the time machine had occupied. If this works, Penelope thought, Augustus is going to crush a couple of the fools when he arrives if they don’t move out of the way.

Sir Crispin was holding his watch and counting out as the five-minute mark approached.

“Four minutes and forty-five seconds, Four minutes and fifty seconds, four minutes and fifty-five seconds. Five minutes!” 

Everyone stared expectantly at the space on the stage. Sir Crispin’s voice trailed off. The silence was deafening. Penelope felt the tears threaten to run down her cheeks but she forced herself to watch. He just miscounted, she told herself. He’s typed in five hours rather than five minutes. It will be something silly, that’s all.

Sir Crispen cleared his throat, “Well gentlemen, it looks like Augustus Midgeley has been somewhat detained. I suggest we move on to the next matter of the evening.” He turned and smiled. “It is, I believe, Sir Godfrey’s seventieth birthday tomorrow. So I suggest we all give him a rendition of ‘For he’s jolly good fellow’.”

Penelope slowly closed the door. Augustus, you blithering idiot, she scolded. Where are you?

~o0O0o~

Augustus watched the bulbs on the panel as he swirled through space and time. The streaks of vermillion created by who knew what guided his path through the darkness. He watched as the first bulb, then the second and finally the third turned red. He braced himself and waited for the landing.

Commissioner Penelope Emmeline Batterbee heard the bang and felt the windows rattle. As Chairwoman of the Royal Physics Society, she made it her job to know what was going on in the building at all times and this was an unexpected occurrence.

She strode along the corridor. The tails of her frock coat flapped behind her as the train of her dress swished along the polished corridors. Following the noise of the excited chatter and footsteps, everyone converged on the great hall. She stopped at the entrance and saw the finest physicists in the country standing in a semicircle, gathered around a hissing contraption on the stage.

“Is she alright?” she called out.

Amelia Carton met the Commissioner’s eye and stepped closer to the contraption. She gently prodded the unconscious inhabitant with her finger. She stepped back and turned to the assembled throng and announced in a confused voice.

“It’s a man.’”

Penelope strode quickly forward from the back of the hall.

“Don’t talk nonsense. It can’t be a man.”

The assembled women craned their necks to try and get a glimpse of this scientific anomaly.

“They must have stolen it,” Penelope continued. “Are you sure it isn’t a woman?”

“That may well be the case, Commissioner,” Amelia responded, looking at the moustache on Augustus' face. “But this is definitely a male.”

Augustus stirred and looked up into Amilia’s face.

“Penelope?” he murmured.

“No, I’m Amelia,” she whispered as she stroked his hair. “You have a big bump on your head.”

She stood up and turned to the assembled crowd.

“Ladies, I think it best if you give us some space.”

Half an hour later, Augustus was sitting with Amelia in Commissioner Batterbee’s office as the Commissioner attempted to find out how Augustus had gotten there.

“You… YOU invented it?” Penelope stammered.

“But how?... I mean, you’re a man. Men don’t do scientific experiments,” she continued. “Men are homemakers, caregivers. Your brains aren’t designed for scientific rational thought.”

Augustus stared at her in confusion and attempted to stand up.

“Madam, I think you’ll find that men are perfectly capable of rational thought.”

“Now, now, dear. Sit down. I do hope you are not one of these so-called Menimists, are you?” 

Augustus spluttered “Whattt??”

“Look dear, I know you’ve had a bang to the head. I’m sure it’s confusing you. Amelia will have a look at your machine and see if we can get it fixed.”

Penelope stood up and thrust out her hand. Augustus stretched his hand out and clasped it, shaking it politely.

“If you could just wait outside a moment, I just need to discuss a few things with Amelia here before she takes you to your machine.”

After Augustus had left the room, Penelope turned to Amelia as she looked at her hand.

“Shaking hands with a man always feels like I’m shaking hands with a child. Don’t you think it seems artificial and vaguely patronising?”

Amelia laughed. “Oh Penelope, what are we going to do with this man? Do you really think he invented a machine capable of travelling to another dimension?”

Penelope looked pensive. “I don’t know. He must have had a woman’s help somewhere. Find out what you can.”

Augustus ran his eyes over Amelia when she came out of the office. She was tall and strikingly beautiful. She had high cheekbones, smouldering green eyes and bright red lips. Her cropped dark brunette hair was visible beneath her top hat. He noticed her goggles had a purple tinge on the lenses. She looked efficient, Augustus decided,

She wore a dark green corset under her open frock coat and Augustus almost licked his lips at the pale full breasts spilling out over the top. Her purple lace bustle skirt fell to just above her knees at the front, allowing him a view of her black leather riding boots while at the back, it was long and adorned with ruffles and laces.

“Come on then, follow me.” 

Amelia clicked her fingers at Augustus and led the way down to the workshops where the time machine had been moved. Augustus glanced through the open doors into the offices as they passed. He was relieved to see he wasn’t the only man in the place. There were several men sitting typing at desks and carrying bundles of paper from one office to another. The men all looked very smart with crisp white shirts and braces and ironed slacks.

He watched one man run a comb through his hair and straighten his shirt before knocking on a door.

Amelia opened the doors to the workshops and Augustus saw his beloved machine. He rushed forward, checking the instrument control panel and sighed as he saw the broken lights and warped brass tubing.

Amelia removed her frock coat, knelt down and traced her way along the wiring. She pulled out several frayed wires and swore softly as a piece of piping clanged to the floor.

“Oh, dear. Was that important?”

Augustus looked confused and shrugged.

“I’m not sure. Penelope did most of the plumbing”

“Penelope? So there was a woman building it. I knew it.”

Augustus blushed. “Well, she was my assistant.”

“An assistant who built the machine?”

“To my specifications,” Augustus bristled. 

Amelia raised her hands. “It’s OK dear, there’s no need to get so emotional. Calm down.”

Augustus dropped his hands to his sides.

“I’m sorry, my dear lady. I’m just not used to being surrounded by women.”

Amelia laughed. “Where have you come from?”

“Why, England of course.”

“And where in England would you spend your time surrounded by men?”

Augustus looked confused. “Well at the Royal Physics Society of course, and at my Gentlemen’s club, and when I meet my old colleagues in the Metropolitan Police.”

“You were a male policewoman?” Amelia asked, interested.

“Well no, I was a police officer.”

“Oh, you silly goose. I keep hearing people saying 'police officer' when they could simply use the perfectly good, gender-neutral word 'policewoman'.” Amelia sounded exasperated. “My husband Michael is a male policewoman and he's absolutely fine with it.”

Augustus stared at her in disbelief.

“You are absolutely barking, Madam.”

“Really, and I suppose you think there is a King on the throne too?”

“Well no, her majesty Queen Victoria is on the throne.”

Amelia laughed. “Well, I’m pleased to say the bang on the head hasn’t screwed up all your faculties.”

Augustus looked contrite. “I’m sorry.” 

He fumbled with his collar as if unsure what to say next. Amelia patted him gently on the knee.

“It’s ok, let’s get this ship fixed and try and send you home.”

Amelia watched Augustus as he worked. She liked the way his muscles bulged as he tightened the retaining bolts. He had removed his collar and unfastened a couple of buttons and Amelia found herself staring at his chest, imagining what he looked like topless.

She was just admiring his arse as he crawled under the control panel when there was a knock on the door and Commissioner Batterbee came in. She ran her eyes over Augustus then turned and grinned at Amelia, raising an eyebrow. Amelia just laughed.

“A couple of the girls are going for lunch in the tavern, wondered if you fancied joining us?”

Amelia considered it before glancing at Augustus again.

“I should probably stay here, just in case.”

Penelope laughed. “You dirty dog, I know what you’re up to.” She left, giggling with the protestations of innocence from  Amelia ringing in her ears.

Once Penelope had gone, Amelia quietly walked over to the door and locked it. She walked back towards the time machine, watching Augustus tighten another bolt as he knelt by the control panel.

She reached forward and ran her long slender fingers over his bicep. 

“You’re really quite intriguing, Augustus,” Amelia continued, gazing into his eyes as she ran her tongue over her lips. “I’ve never met a man like you before. Strong, clever, entrepreneurial.”

Amelia ran her fingers through Augustus’ hair. “You have quite an effect on me.” She leant in and kissed him on the mouth.

Augustus was shocked, He pushed himself back and jumped to his feet.

“Madam, you can not make inappropriate suggestions like that. I’m a married man.”

“Oh Gussy, don’t be such a prude,” Amelia giggled as she watched Augustus stagger backwards. She reached down and grabbed his ass. She squeezed his buttock and laughed as he yelped in shock.

He turned to face her, edging his way around the room with his back to the wall. Amelia stalked after him, like a lioness stalking her prey.

“There’s nothing to be scared of, Augustus. I can make your life here so much easier. You just need to show your gratitude for all the help I’m giving you.”

Augustus felt his lip tremble as he looked at her. This woman had the morals of an alley cat. He watched her mouth twist into a sardonic smile.

“I’ll let you think about it, sweetie. But don’t think for too long.”

She picked up her top hat and placed it casually on the top of her head.

“Right, I’m off for a bite of lunch. Can I get you anything, Augustus?”

Augustus shook his head. What kind of world had he ended up in, he wondered. Amelia sashayed her way out the door, her frock coat thrown over one shoulder as she let the door close behind her.

He thought back to Penelope, his darling Penelope. She was really such a clever girl and while he loved that she was so clever and understood bits of theoretical physics and astronomy and mechanics that just flabbergasted him, he’d never actually encouraged her or helped her in any way.

He looked at the time machine and as he did so, Penelope’s voice came floating back into his mind.

“You just need to make sure the emergency direction override dial is set to off before you release the brake. It’s a bit wobbly and keeps slipping.”

He stood up and walked over to the instrument panel. He’d never really understood why there needed to be an emergency direction override dial but as usual, he’d let Penelope decide. He looked at it now. There were four settings: Forwards, Backwards, Off and Wormhole. The dial was clearly pointing to Wormhole.

He had absolutely no idea what a wormhole was but it was worth the risk. Even if only to get away from this crazy land where the women were in charge. He picked up a newspaper and glanced at the headline. 

‘Equal pay claim by Gentlemen Doctors and male Surgeons refused.’

He crumpled the paper into a ball and placed it in the firebox of the steam engine. As the flame from the match caught alight and spread over the paper, Augustus wondered if he’d ever see his wife or Penelope again. Only one way to find out he reckoned. With the emergency direction override dial set to Wormhole, he pulled his goggles down over his eyes. The whistle sounded to indicate the engine was going at full capacity and so, with one final look around the room, he pulled the lever and vanished.