Quote by gillianleeza
It's been a few weird, stressful days. Dementia is such a cruel disease that sometimes causes the most awful behaviors. Thankfully, I will be visiting my middle son this weekend. He and his girlfriend bought a house, and they are excited to show it off to us. Sometimes I have to get away from it all. My father is well taken care of where he lives now, but I still feel guilty about taking time for myself. Sigh...
I need to stop coming here and whining. Maybe another day, lol. Have a good Friday, everyone.
I know you know this, Gillian, but there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty, and for several reasons. First, and most importantly, you did the best you could for him – really, the best that anyone could do. There is no reason to regret that, and if there's blame to be assigned, blame the disease, not you, nor him.
And second is the simple truth that you can't give what you don't have. If you burn out, it won't help him. Indeed, it would make his life worse. So take care of yourself so that you can take care of him as best suits his current situation.
My younger brother is going through Alzheimer's, about middle-stage at this point. He's a brilliant man, far smarter than me (though it burns me to say so), and it's heart-breaking to speak to him and hear the things he's losing.
But he has an amazing woman as his wife, and two of his three grown children live nearby, and are being actively helpful.
Yet it still hurts.
So, take care of yourself, take a deep breath, and let go of the guilt. It doesn't help either of you, and it certainly hurts you.
And there's a big Bear hug waiting for you – if that helps.