But Madeline would need to bide her time. She would need to wait for the perfect opportunity to carry out her devious scheme. She would have to be patient.
The worst part is, she would have to live with the dreaded auburn wig until the perfect opportunity arose.
And, in Madeline's opinion, living with the wig sucked...big time!
Madeline was more and more convinced, as time went on, that the wig was indeed evil. It was doing evil things, like raising her blood pressure sky high. Madeline often felt shaky and anxious; her heart pounding away a mile a minute.
The other evil thing the wig was doing, was taking Luna away from her. The wig had completely transformed Madeline's formerly mousy room-mate into some sort of annoying....slut!
Luna wore the wig morning, noon, and night. She even wore it to work, where she claimed, in her new giggly high-pitched voice, "EVERYONE ADORES IT!"
Apparently, some cute guy at work named Emery was suddenly paying attention to Luna.
"I always thought Emery was hot," Luna confided, one day after work. "But sort of stuck-up, you know? One of those guys who works out all the time; totally into himself. He always acted like I was invisible. He was all into that Bunny, you know, the girl I used to complain about because she has way too much hair? Well, I found out she's really nice. I was just being mean, you know, not giving her a chance. Really, Madeline, I swear...this wig has completely changed my life!"
"Well it's certainly changed you," Madeline commented.
"I know!" squealed Luna,oblivious to Madeline's sarcasm. "It has! I have so much more confidence, and people are really picking up on that! Who would think that hair could change your life? My boss even complimented me today, and he NEVER compliments ANY ONE!"
"Yea, he probably thinks you're cheap and easy now," Madeline remarked.
But Luna only laughed.
"Hey, if this wig makes my life easier, I don't care!" she squealed.
Madeline sighed and rolled her eyes.
She hated sitting with Luna after work now. It used to be such a relaxing time...the two of them kicking off their shoes and bonding, while complaining about various work issues that almost always revolved around some "annoying bitch." Like that Bunny, who now, suddenly, was so wonderful.
But sitting with this NEW Luna with the long curly auburn hair, was completely different. Sitting with this NEW Luna made Madeline feel all fidgetty and irritated.
This new Luna never complained. She was always disgustingly cheerful and bubbly, regaling Madeline with tales of how great everything was going.
This new Luna, in her black and white checkered mini skirt and white fish-net tights....in her pink low cut top and push-up bra (Madeline never even realized Luna had breasts before)...this NEW Luna who suddenly had some hot guy named Emery interested in her...
WAS GETTING ON MADELINE'S NERVES!
Suddenly, Madeline thought of something. It was totally at odds with her Hatred of The Wig.
Maybe the wig is only evil if you are the one not wearing it, Madeline thought. Maybe if I get a wig, too, then I can be as happy as Luna.
"Let me try that wig on!" Madeline announced, jumping up from the dingy couch with more energy than usual.
Their white Persian cat Q-Tip stared at Madeline in surprise.
"What?" asked Luna, also staring at Madeline in surprise.
"I want to try your wig on," said Madeline. "If I like it, maybe I'll want to buy one, too!"
"Oh!" said Luna. "Well...okay..."
Luna did not seem like she wanted to part with her beloved wig for even a few minutes.
But Madeline was impatient. She wanted a piece of the good life, too. And if that dumb wig was the answer to the good life, well...so be it!
This time it was Luna who followed Madeline down the dark narrow hallway to the cramped dirty bathroom at the end.
"C'mon, roomy! Cough it up!" Madeline insisted.
Luna reluctantly lifted the wig off her head. Madeline stared at her room-mate with wonder.
Without the long shiny auburn locks framing her face, Luna looked like the OLD Luna... sullen and mousy,despite the new make-up and whitened teeth.
Madeline practically grabbed the wig out of Luna's hands. Then she stood in front of the streaked mirror, and yanked it down over her own limp brown hair.
But for some reason, the wig just seemed to sit on top of Madeline's head like some sort of odd hat.
Madeline took the wig off and studied the cap part, underneath.
"There's no way to make this thing bigger?" she asked.
"I don't think so," said Luna, also studying the cap.
"Maybe I just didn't put it on right," said Madeline.
Madeline felt deflated;like a giant balloon that just had the air let out. She had been so convinced she would just lower the wig onto her head, and POOF! Instantly, she would be hot and sexy, too. But it hadn't worked.
Apparently, the wig only had magic for certain people. And Madeline was NOT one of them.
But she wasn't ready to give up...yet.
Madeline tried to make the wig go lower on her face. But it still didn't look right on her. She tugged and twisted.
"Careful!" Luna scolded, like the wig was her beloved child. "You're going to hurt it!"
Madeline glared at her reflection in horror. She resembled a mountain. A mountain with long auburn hair.
I look like Jabba the Hut... with a wig, she thought.
The wig did not look good on her. It did not have the same magic it had with Luna. The wig just made Madeline look..fatter.
Madeline recalled an article she'd read online a while ago. The article proclaimed that really large women did not look good with really long hair. The article never said why this was so, and Madeline thought it seemed odd at the time.
But now, looking in the bathroom mirror at her frightful reflection, she regretfully had to agree with the wisdom of it.
"I don't like it," Madeline declared, ripping the wig off her head. "It's too fake. And it feels all hot and itchy. How can you wear that thing?"
The last part was a lie, but Madeline felt inclined to add it, anyway.
"I think it feels perfectly comfortable," said Luna. "I don't even know it's on."
"Oh well," said Madeline, handing the wig back. "You can have it. It's not for me."
"Not everyone can pull a wig off," she said.
After that, Madeline was more convinced than ever that the wig was evil. Not only that the wig was evil, but that it hated HER, personally! And Madeline hated the wig back. She hated it more than she had ever hated anything in her whole miserable life.
Madeline's hatred of the wig was so strong, so all-consuming, it was almost palpable.
Luna was hardly ever home these days. She was always out with Emery. If she wasn't out with Emery, she was locked in her room, video chatting with him.
Luna's other new annoying passtime was taking hundreds of pictures of herself with the wig on, in millions of different poses. Like she was suddenly some kind of dumb super model!
Madeline threw herself into gardening. Luckily, it was May and the weather was extroidinarily warm for Connecticut. Their apartment was on the first floor, and they had a small patch of yard that then led into the woods that she could plant on.
Madeline planted rows and rows of tomatoes, bell peppers, radishes, and green beens. She even bought some wire fencing for cucumber vines to grab onto. Madeline sweated and grunted, her hands filthy, her fingernails caked with mud.
"Not all of us care what we look like every single second!" she spat.
She dreaded seeing Luna's white Ford Focus driving by on the way to the parking lot.
The wig was giving Madeline insomnia. She lay in her bed, tossing and turning, dripping with sweat. Luna, on the other hand, was flourishing. She was getting praised at work, with promise of a promotion. Meanwhile, Madeline's boss was riding her hard.
"I keep getting complaints about you," she told Madeline the other day, sternly looking over her ugly skinny glasses. "Customer service, Madeline. Our customers come first. Without our customers, where would we be? You, as part of the customer service department, are the voice of this company. I don't want to hear any more complaints about you, is that understood? This is your final warning."
"Yea...sorry..." Madeline had mumbled, slinking out.
Madeline could have told her boss that it wasn't her fault; that it was the wig's fault. The wig was causing her to be short with customers. But Madeline was well aware of how insane that would sound.
Then one evening, Madeline saw her opportunity. Luna had taken the wig off to wash her hair...