If I were China
…and I had power
…I think about this thought a lot.
If I were China and I conquered the world
…and things went the way I planned
…nevermind, I sound like a comic book villain now.
…but if I had my way
All the factories that put cows in boxes would go away
And the plains would be for bison and wolves
…and for the cowboys brave enough to live there
If I were China, I’d be mean too
Back in 1900 they imported 20,000 tons of opium and grew bunches more
Used tiny spoon by tiny spoon to anesthetize the population
But with an iron fist they were drug free by 1970
For that, I think I could be mean.
To build a nation of quality, instead of quantity, they were mean too.
…meaner than starvation and ignorance and death?
I don’t think so.
If I were China… big companies would pay taxes
They wouldn’t get streets and sewers and police and courts and educated workers for free.
And politicians would hang for listening to lobbyists.
They should be our representatives, and not fortune-500 puppets on a string.
And Shamu and Namu and Tillikum would never do another back flip in a bathtub for me.
I’d find the black fish a harbor and set them free.
If I were China, I wouldn’t listen to dogma
…except for the principal of Jubilee
To forgive all debts every so often
And undo the slavery of owing everything
If I were China, oh boy I’m on a roll
I’d pick up where Tesla left off
And make engines that run off of static
And engineer everything with the nine polymers that are used in nature
Instead of the hundreds of polymers of plastic that pollute the deep
I’d explore the oceans instead of outer space
And that’s about it…
except for stopping the fighting in the Congo...
…but if I were actually China,
I’m sure it would drive me insane.
I’d probably end up as evil and absurd as all the powers that be.
…so I’m kinda glad that I’m small.
…and I’m only China in my own mind,
in a mind that gives me hope for what could be.