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Jack and Jill: Two Minutes

How would you spend your last two minutes?

**Legend has it, the greatest thief of all time spent two minutes drinking a glass of wine with his shadow after he killed his victim**.

Jack trembled as he placed the gun in his mouth. Taking one last breath, he closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

BANG!

Jack opened his eyes in shock. His gun misfired. Nothing seemed to be going his way. He threw the gun down on the sofa and made his way to the table. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured it into a glass. After staring at the glass for a couple of seconds, he put it down and drank from the bottle instead taking one huge gulp.

He felt an immediate burn on his throat; he wasn’t fully anticipating the punch from a swig. In frustration, he slammed the bottle on the floor and made his way back to the sofa carrying his alcohol-filled glass. And grabbed the gun and thought to himself, today just isn’t my day.

He heard a fuzzing sound behind him, and as he looked behind, he saw the whiskey with the broken bottle pieces turn into a pool of boiling blood. And slowly, hands stretched out, as a grey-shadow like creature with a human structure emerged. As it ascended from the pool, its body began to take a defined shape with the sound of bones breaking with every movement. The doors and windows shut with all the curtains shut too. Darkness slowly filled the room as the curtains turned blood-red.

Jack took a big gulp from his glass and paid no attention to the strong punch from his whiskey. After a good minute, the creature introduced itself as death in an oddly polite tone. Jack immediately emptied his gun firing at the creature to no effect as every bullet was sucked in.

Jack took a larger gulp, emptying his glass this time and asked why death decided to pay him a visit. Death then responded that it was due to collect a body, but came two minutes early; Jack had two minutes to decide how to live his life. Death then placed an hourglass on the table with its sand almost running out.

Jack examined his gun and talked to death explaining that his gun had misfired leaving him unharmed. 

“I can’t die yet, look at my mouth. (He opened his mouth wide). See! No bullet hole, so why the hell are you here?” 

Death calmly smiled at him and said, “Would you have preferred if the gun had not misfired and the bullet penetrated through your head leaving you choking in your blood for the next two minutes.?”

Jack stood in silence as he thought for a minute, still trying to gather his thoughts. He questioned death asking if it made a mistake or had come before his time. Death took a sigh and said, “look, Jack, you don’t have a lot of time, and this death-business is complicated. Yes, people die before their time and others are saved, divine intervention. All you need to know is the clock started the moment you pulled the trigger.”

Jack, hopeless with life, already having a bad day, sarcastically asked, “So, does your job come with any services, can you at least grant me a wish before I die.”

“I can flash your life before eyes, would you like that?”

“No, I bet it will be full of images of my lying cheating wife. I gave her everything, EVERYTHING GODDAMNIT!

Well, my day can’t get any worse. Would you sir, please have a drink with me? It’s not every day that one gets a chance to drink with death.”

To his surprise, death agreed to which he rushed down the wine cellar and got the most expensive bottle. Tears streamed down his face as memories rushed in. 

In his youth, he was a gambler. He met his wife Jill in Vegas during one of his scams. He told her he was an heir from the west; she told him she was a Moroccan heiress. Little did he know he met his match. They eloped later that week and filed for a divorce a day later, each hoping to receive half in benefits. Love at first sight. Till death do us part…. Or so he thought.

Jack walked up with the bottle and two glasses. He looked at his watch as he poured the wine, 45 seconds left. He raised the glass and death asked what they were toasting to.

“Jill. She’s the cause of this. I just discovered she’s been stealing from me all these years and sleeping with my brother. I always thought I was the greatest thief of all time till I met her. Here’s to Jill…. THE GREATEST THIEF OF ALL TIME”

They both emptied their cups, and Jack found himself uncontrollably crying, failing to believe his life would end this way.

 10 seconds left.

 He then asked death to flash his life before his eyes as he waited for his time. And just as he feared, they were memories full of Jill.

5 SECONDS…

4 SECONDS…

He squeezed the gun tightly in his lap as he waited for death to take his life.

3 SECONDS…

He just shut his eyes as the darkness flooded in.

2 SECONDS…

He took one final breath as he was ready to embrace his fate, his body started to float as his soul began to detach itself from his body

1 SECOND….

At this point, there was nothing but bright light. The room was flooded with white light, he looked forward, and he could see Jill’s face. He cursed under his breath; I must be in hell he thought. He raised his gun and pulled the trigger when suddenly-…..

He fell to the ground, and everything returned to normal. Death smiled with satisfaction and went over to Jill’s body to collect her soul. Her body violently shook as an angry soul cursing at jack emerged out and into death’s mouth.

Jack, still trying to catch his breath, stood up to the table and poured the wine into both glasses. Death motionlessly hovered and sat next to Jack. 

Jack smiled at death for the first time as he pushed the second glass towards him.

 Death declined saying, “I don’t like to drink much on the job.” 

Jack could almost see a smile on death’s face as he said that. Jack raised his glass and said, “To the greatest thief of all time, I stole your life you stupid bitch.” 

Jack then asked how the empty gun worked to which death responded, “As I said, this death-business is complicated, you will get headaches just thinking it through. There will be no bullet hole, her cause of death will be of natural causes, but it will be recorded as a stroke. If I may ask, what gave her away?” 

Jack smiled with satisfaction, “That’s a hundred and forty-four-year-old wine you drank. I didn’t expect it to have an effect on you. But when the life that flashed before my eyes belonged to Jill, I saw everything till her time of death. I know all her secrets and where my money is.”

Death then grabbed the glass and emptied it in one gulp and smiled for the first time. Jack continued, “It seems my brother won’t be the only person I will be killing, it looks like I have a long list.”

Death responded, “I guess I will see you around then.” He then began to levitate as the curtains returned to normal and the windows opened with sunlight entering the room for the first time in two minutes.

With the alcohol fully working in Jack’s system, he bluntly said to death, “HEY DEATH, NEXT TIME YOU SHOW UP, BRING A BOTTLE OF YOUR OWN!” before dropping his head on the table and instantly snoring. 

“WILL DO.” 

 

 

 

 

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