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One Day on the Armored Truck

A true story

Warning: Very coarse language used in two places.

One of the best jobs I held prior to my days in law enforcement was working for an armoured car company. I drove an older armoured truck that would take a tank to dent. The hours were good and the pay was decent. It was one of the only places that I would come into work on my off days if asked. We spend our days picking up and delivered cash and coin to various businesses and banks.

It was a two-man job. One man drove while the other rode in the back. It was not like certain companies today where the open door would allow access to the cargo area and driver. They were separate. The man in the back got out at the various places I mentioned and opened the safes and drop boxes.

He emptied the cash and kept tabs on the amounts for deposit later that day. Now Wednesday was our favourite day as it took us to a local well-known college campus. We would hustle all morning so we could enjoy a leisurely lunch at one of the fast food places near the campus and check out the pretty co-eds. My regular partner was a tough older male that had seen military service and acted as my trainer.

Now we could never leave the truck unattended with all that cash so we had to go in one at a time. The guy in back would come to the passenger side and I would let him in. Once he was in the driver's compartment I could exit the truck and get my lunch. When I returned we just reversed the process.

So anyway I entered the restaurant and took my place in a small line. In front of me was the strangest look young male I had seen up to that time. His blond hair could have put Albert Einstein's signature hairstyle to shame. He wore a pink shirt with red and yellow designs. This was paired with yellow pants and two different coloured sneakers and socks.

He was talking to a smaller and younger male in a loud voice about college life. When his friend questioned him about his strange ensemble he responded in a loud voice that was full of pride.

"Hey, I'm making a fashion statement," he responded.

I bit my tongue so as not to laugh out loud, but that comment was too good to ignore.

"What statement is that? That you enjoy looking like Bozo the fucking clown in public," I snarled.

He turned to stare at me when two very pretty co-eds behind me started laughing, The male gave me a dirty look and left the building. I got my order and returned to the truck. As I got in the cab my partner just stared at me.

"What happened in there? Can't I take you anyplace?" he asked.

"What do ya mean?" I responded.

"Some goofy looking asshole that looked like he stuck his toe in a light socket and dressed like a walking fruit salad came out of the building and flipped me off," my partner responded.

 

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