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Another Unedited Musing

"It's unedited. Enjoy it, or whatever."
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I’m not entirely sure I like you.
Everything here is too bright and too dark. 
It’s a fucking paradox and it doesn’t make any sense.

It doesn’t even make paradoxical sense.
Like, why am I sitting here typing this? 
My hands are betraying me.
The wind is harsh, yet comforting.

Why’m I even drunk? Am I sober? 
Do I exist? Ugh, questions!

Like, I could just write this out like some kinda paragraphy thing. I could write in complete sentences and just get it out of my head, but I’m not. Wait, this here is a paragraph. And that was a sentence. So, is the thing that I started this... Whatever... A poem?

But what is a poem? And why shouldn’t I start a paragraph off with “but”? Why shouldn’t I start a sentence with “and”? Why do anything relating to any rules? Why bother to bother with bothersome rules, that bother me to no end?

I have no answers. 
Only questions. 
But I don’t know what questions I should be asking. 
I don’t even know if the answers I do have are worth trusting.

So, I just don’t care any more. 
I don’t like me. 
I don’t like my life. 
I just don’t like.

This life is harsh, cold, hot, fucked up.

Oh, by the way, this day (11th September 2017) is my brother’s day of birth. And I know what everyone else will be thinking: “Terrible tragedy, that, in New York.” Eh, well, fuck y’all.

I don’t care. These people never affected my life in any way. I didn’t know them. I know my brother and I love him, so I’ll focus my energies on him instead.

So, maybe I lied. Maybe I do care. I care about my family and friends, anyway. I just don’t really care about myself. In the end, I’m an expendable drone, typing out random words (at work) and making an already rich government richer. I’m a cunt, in the eyes of the general public. I don’t care, though.

There’s no end to my lack of care. Only thing I care about is helping my mum through... That, and also getting over to Aria, or getting Aria over to me, whichever.

I don’t really even care if anyone reads this, though I will check up on it through vanity.

or whatever.
Stay well, 
or whatever.

Andrew aka Circle_something, aka Kitty, aka The Guy Who Doesn't Care Any More 

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