Hey, listen friend, I get it. I do understand where you are coming from, how you feel, and what you are trying to accomplish. I'm in the same place as you, it's dark and intimidating; lonely. You miss a friend you once had, maybe they weren't the best of friends, maybe they drive you up the wall but still you did care about them. You still care about them and even still you want to undo mistakes made.
I have made mistakes to people I still care about deeply. I hate that I miss them, I hate that I want to just take it all back so I can move on, because we, my friend are stuck. We are stuck on hope, on this idea that if we want it badly enough it will happen, and we are stuck on fear that if we move forward we will never see those we cared about again.
I want to get in touch with them, reconnect but it will not happen, or if it does, not anytime soon. I am not entitled to their attention just as you are not entitled to mine. You cannot demand me to answer you, nor should you expect me to meet you one on one conversation. The time for those words has long since past. Apologies do not change our current path.
We cannot stay in our current reality forever either. We have to move on without looking back so much that we fall off course. Even if those I miss come across my path again it won't be the same thus moving on is sparing everyone from pain. So stop looking back at me, I'm not looking back at you. You made your decision as I have made mine, as they have made theirs and we must respect those decisions and not infringe upon them else those we miss will start resenting us, just like they probably resent me for I have already done what you did. Now I have to live with those consequences.
So come now friend, let's move on from this place, for we have places we need to go; where we belong.