How blessed am I? Every day I thank God for my blessings. I have six beautiful, healthy children and a very supportive husband. I can’t do the things that I used to, but it doesn’t matter. We survive the best way we can. I am able to talk and think – maybe not as clearly as I used to. Fortunately I had the energy when my children were younger. I could do then what a mother is “supposed to” – cook, clean, wash, drive, shop. I was then able to do these things. I may not be able to do these things anymore, but I haven’t stopped loving my children and wanting the best for them. I am able to listen to their problems, and help them find solutions.
I was so fiercely independent before. I could do it all myself. I didn’t need anyone to help – I was quite capable of doing it myself. I asked no-one for help-my children went everywhere with me. Shopping or wherever I went. And they were very well-behaved kids. We had fun too – going to a park, or whatever they felt like. I used to drive – everywhere. I loved driving, and the children did too. I always drove and my husband was the passenger. I was a safe driver, and I went everywhere in my four wheel drive – dirt roads, fire access or 4wd only roads. We had such fun! Now I can’t even climb into the 4wd. And I no longer drive.
Now I need to ask for help, and hated it at first. But I have no choice but to accept it.
I have Multiple Sclerosis. It’s gradually getting worse, but before now I was busy raising six children. And I loved it! My 30s were spent being pregnant, and it was the best thing I ever did. But they’re not babies any more. The youngest was at kinder the day I fell over, and I was diagnosed soon after. Looking back I have had MS since I was 16. I had another attack when I was 17, then nothing for years. It turns out my pregnancies put MS into remission.
My husband now works from home, and has to do all of the shopping, and driving the kids around. And cooking. And washing. The traditional “mum jobs”. There is nothing much I can do any more. Except love everyone, and talking to my children. And I can write. I can no longer write freehand, but the computer is great! Obviously I can’t make notes before, just sit down and type. This is a new beginning for me pursuing a hobby that I had before – I now have more time to write. However, fatigue limits the time I am able to spend at the computer, and I can’t control my right hand very well..
I no longer drive, but it doesn’t stop my children coming to me and telling me that they have run out of a particular grocery item or telling me that they need money for school. It doesn’t stop my husband too from forgetting that I can no longer do the washing or hang the clothes. Never mind. It is done eventually! We are happy and dealing with our new beginnings the best way we can. We have a lot of love for each other, and in the end that is all that matters