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Lunaria annua

Tags: musings

Where do we live?

"Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross" the old nursery rhyme goes, but although there are many fine ladies, I'm sure, few if any ride any kind of horse through the streets of this ancient town. If you are lucky you could see me going about my daily business, or I could be elsewhere.

Where we are is not always where we want to be, or where official reports would have us. I have a physical address, letters and packages can reach me there, and likewise with my place of work. There is also the address I have in my head, or should I say my heart.

In addition to the house I occupy, I also "live" within the internet. The social networks have become almost tangible places where we go, not just to share our lives with friends, but to live them on a daily basis. I, like so many others, am on FaceBook!

My profile there does describe me accurately, the facts as stated are all true. The family members listed are all correct, and their relationship to me is exactly right, the facts are true. The friends listed are all friends, some closer than others, but that is life.

I also have a profile on Stories Space and it too is accurate as far as it can be. There are differences, and though these are subtle they are very important. When I joined this place I put myself down as "in a relationship" and on FaceBook I am "married" but which is more accurate.

My marital status is a matter of legal record, my FaceBook profile is legally true. Contrarily, as I created my profile here I had a very special person in mind, not my wife. Someone who fills all my waking thoughts, my dreams and my hopes for the future, so this profile has emotional truth.

So where am I? And don't think for a moment I am confused, I certainly am not. Its just that the places we occupy can be contradictory while still being accurate, are bricks and tiles more important than emotions?

Where I am is a place in space and time, but it is also a state of mind and an ambition for my, and another's, future. Both are true, but like the nursery rhyme I began with, both the physical and the emotional place I occupy, are open to interpretation as to which is genuine.

The cross in the center of Banbury is very old and weathered, and looks genuine, but the original was replaced centuries ago. It is something of which the town is justifiably very proud, it embodies the spirit of the place. It is at its center, its heart but it is not the one the rhyme speaks of.

If home is where the heart is then my home is definitely not in this place. My heart draws me inexorably to another, more beautiful location, where arms wait for me, as mine ache for her, and the smiles we share will never, ever fade.

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