Sprinkling softly, the rain falls down to earth, like tears from the heavens. Ironic in this moment, as my own eyes start to well. I close my eyes and bite my lip, pushing back my feelings as a clap of thunder shakes the ground. My once-treasured thunderstorms are leaving me empty, broken. Thanks to you.
Bittersweet I suppose, I always knew deep down I was never good enough. Oh so painfully you made it crystal clear to me. I always knew when something better were to arise, you’d be packing, leaving my dazed and confused in a cloud of dust. Somehow this knowledge didn’t stop the ache when you finally did leave.
So I sit and stare out my window, the rain coming down harder, I brush away a sorrowful tear, trying to forget. It’s funny you know, the harder you try to forget? The clearer your face becomes in my mind. Every freckle, your smile, the crinkle in your eyes as you smiled… smiled at me. I can feel my resolve cracking as I choke back a sob. I know I don’t have long, so I give up, replaying that moment. You know the one. The one in which you told me goodbye, leaving me shattered on the floor, though to you I was still strong. I suppose my strength was enough to scare you, make you think I’m heartless, that I never truly care. When in fact it’s not the truth, I just don’t display my emotions on a platter for the world to see like you. Not like there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s not how I am.
I’m sorry I came off that way, sorry I made you angry, sorry I made you yell, sorry I made you feel unwanted. I’m sorry I loved the way you smiled, I’m sorry I loved your hand in mine, sorry that thinking of you still makes me smile... even now. I’m sorry I said hello to you on that hot August day.
I sob quietly into my pillow, images of you flooding my mind, drowning me as the rain pours outside, mimicking my heart...