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Religion, ranting and love

"Just having a mental tidy."

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There are some subjects I stay away from. I avoid them like the plague. Politics and religion are the things I steer clear of. Earlier this week, I commented on a quote by Oscar Wilde. I like most quotes I’ve seen from him, but the danger is that they are taken out of context. I’m not sure if this was in or out of context, but the quote was “every sinner has a future every saint has a past”. I actually quite like this quote, I’ve nothing against it, in fact.

What I object to, is people misusing the words ‘saint’ and ‘sinner’. Now, bear in mind, that I’m no theologian, but in order to be a saint, one has to be recognised as such by someone in religious authority. The whole sinner/saint thing is mostly Christian. On this quote, I said “I’m neither sinner, nor saint because I’m not Christian, so those beliefs don’t apply to me, only my own beliefs do :)” I could have probably said it better, but I’ve not got much time to mince my words. It’s the truth. No, not the truth, my truth.

Of course, I then got attacked for saying that. Most of them slung barbs at me, calling me names, calling me smug, and stopping short of telling me I’m going to hell. None of them actually provided an argument, saying why I was wrong, in their opinion. My comment got 33 likes (the last time I checked) and the people who attacked me got significantly less. At least 33 people agreed, or at least had the balls to imply that they agreed.

I’m not against Christians, in any way. To me, they’re just people. What I am against, and this isn’t just Christians, but anyone who uses their religion to allow them to be an arsehole. I try not to force my views in people’s faces. I try to be respectful. There are some religious people who don’t, and I find it really unfair that they are the ones who are most often heard.

It seems that we only hear the negative things. Or at least we only pay attention to the negative things. Yesterday, or sometime, anyway, I was on a bus. I picked up a newspaper, turned to the funnies, then after reading them, turned to the front page. I couldn’t read the paper for very long, because it made me angry and depressed. I’d forgotten that that was why I stopped reading newspapers, and started getting my news online. Getting my news online, I can choose what I read. I can do that with a newspaper, but it feels like I’m less in control. I like control.

Speaking of control, I need to control my excitement. Excitement? Yeah, I’m seeing one of my favourite bands, Lacuna Coil tomorrow. This will be the second time I’ve seen them and I hope to be able to get some merch signed by... Well, Cristina Scabbia, mostly, but the whole band would be cool. I’m gonna be brutally honest, I fancy her. It isn’t so much that she’s so lovely to look at, but how she feels.

She’s this pint-sized wee thing, and passionate to boot. That’s why I find myself drawn to her. Maybe it isn’t so much that I fancy her, but that I just feel drawn to her. She’s got a huge presence and... I dunno, I just really admire her. There’s just something about her, that je ne sais quoi. I know I’m looking forward to seeing the band tomorrow, I just hope I can have a drink when I’m there.

I’m 29, and still getting asked for ID. I know some people think of it as a good thing, but I don’t. I hate it. Whenever I get asked for ID, it feels like they’re saying that I look about 17. The legal drinking age here in the UK is 18. And here’s a bit that gets frustrating. A lot of shops have a policy called Think 25. It means that if you look under 25, you have to provide ID to prove that you’re... Over 18. What the fuck? Does that make some kind of sense that I’m not in on?

Hopefully, once I get a job, I’ll have enough money to renew my passport, which will give me a form of ID, and will enable me to visit Aria. Y’all’ve (a double contraction! Go me!) heard me go on about Aria before, so I’ll save it. Fuckit, I love her. Anyway, I’ve not been in a full time job for about five years, so I’m a little nervous, but that’s if I get the job, so no point being all nervous about it.

I’ve been trying to improve my social skills. I always make a distinction when people say that they’re antisocial. You’re not antisocial, you’re antisociable, meaning you’d rather not socialise. I need to socialise, but I don’t really want to. Except lately, I’ve been wanting to.

I think I’ve said this before, but I’ve started going to a Pagan moot regularly. I’ve made friends with a couple of people there, but I’m still a bit awkward around them. There’s this one girl I’d like to talk to, but I think because she’s so confident in her beliefs, and herself, I’m a little intimidated. Now, I’m not one of those people who really cares what people think of me, and neither am I not confident (is there a better word for that? It seems silly.), but seeing people who are so confident and who are more knowledgeable than me, can make me feel as if I’m in the spotlight.

I suppose I should talk to more people, but I’m happy with the little group I seem to have fallen in with.

I’ve been typing this for the past hour or so, and I’ve got absolutely no pain in my wrist. I did a clear out in my bedroom. Wasn’t very tidy, but anyway, I found a wristband. You know those sweatbands for the wrist? Yeah, one of them. It’s just tight enough to keep my tendon from swelling, but loose enough to allow my fingers to still move. I love it! With this, I’ll be able to finish more stories. Thank fuck for that.

I’ve enjoy writing this musing, but I think its time has come to an end. I think I’ve finally grasped (this is embarrassing to admit) the difference between “it’s” and “its”. I know, it’s so fucking basic, I should know what the difference is, but sometimes the basics are the toughest things to grasp. Still, I’ve got it now, so I’m happy!

This is unedited, so excuse the errors. It’s exactly how I thought of it, for better or worse. See ya!

Andrew =^.^=

P.S I love you, Aria.
Written by Circle_Something
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