The naked truth about Cheetos, leaving me sweating in my birthday suit. Playing, "Olly olly gluten-free," with a bag of Cheetos. Waiting for my dip to come in with the evening's fries. With catsup on the side, dripping into my beenie weenies without an invocation or a bowl of hominy grits, floating in redneck gravy. Cheetos makes one as lazy and dumb as a parsnip thinking Annie Okra turns tricks. Blaming Gumby for unnatural fornication with a 4-wheel drive pickem-up truck thinking they are sublime. Playing, "Olly olly gluten-free," talking to a badminton shuttlecock, thinking it a canary.