A Cracked Case Solved

(A Rocci Raccoon File)

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall,

But was his fall an accident at all?

It was said in hushed whispers, there was something that stunk,

But that turned out to be Pepe La Pew; La Pew was a skunk.

A howl too was heard, just moments before,

Followed by the bang, of a slamming door.

The police searched the crime scene, gathering evidence and clues.

When asked about suspects, they gave out no news.

Humpty was in the hospital, under intensive care.

His shell cracked open; his yolk layed bare.

Doctor Doolittle worked tirelessly, well into the night.

He wrapped Humpty with Duct tape. What a pitiful looking sight.

Yet the tape seemed to help and Humpty opened his eyes.

The Big egg’s recovery, a complete surprise.

The police questioned Mr. Dumpty, “Can you tell us your tale?”

“I think it was Jack and Jill,” he said, “for I was hit with their pail.”

Stunned were the police, for they knew Jack and Jill.

They assumed they were at home, or maybe up the hill.

Unconscious and tied up, both were found around noon.

In the grass on the hill were a dish and a spoon.

Their pail, it was missing, of that we all know.

Having been used on Humpty’s head, striking a great blow.

The kids were thus questioned. “What happened to you two?”

“It was some boy.” They guessed, unsure. “Maybe Little Boy Blue.”

Boy Blue, the cops found, in his room playing his horn.

Earlier he’d been with The Three Little Pigs eating corn.

The detective in charge, his name, Rocci Raccoon,

Considered all the evidence, like The Dish and The Spoon.

Hmm, he then wondered. Was that sound heard a howl?

Or, had it been a fake howl? A fake howl from a cow?

The kids had an alibi. They were both squarely tied up.

Boy Blue wasn’t at fault. He was with three pigs having Supp’.

Back to Humpty, Rocci went. “Are you sure who you saw?”

“Well, maybe not exactly, for I’d taken a great fall.”

“Tell me more,” prodded the raccoon. “Anything that you can.”

“I saw two shapes,” said the egg. One holding a ham, the other a pan.”

So who, Rocci pondered. Who likes eggs with their ham?

He could only think of one. That was Sam I Am.

An APB was put out, and our Sam was thus found.

He was caught with a Laughing Little Dog, sitting by, on the ground.

It seems he had an accomplice, for there too was The Cow.

With nineteen boxes of Moon Pies, the cow more like a sow.

“Why’d you do it?” asked Rocci. “Try to pull off your scam.”

Sam sadly replied, “Because I like eggs with my ham.”

The moral of this story… Well, I can’t think of one.

This rhyme seems to be over. Yes, I think it is now done.