Christmas is over

Hip-hip-hooray!

Now burn down the tree

Put the wrappings away!

Now everyone get outta my home

You ate all my food and drank all my booze

I try and be nice, it’s not easy for me

And now I’m a bomb with a very short fuse

The house is a mess with scraps all over

The same ol’ tie and the same ol’ cologne

We could skip this day if it was up to me

Now it’s time for me to be alone

Santa is gone and now you must go

Next year at your house but I may not be there

I know it’s about love and spreading good cheer

But I’m a scrooge and really don’t care

Just too much money and too much trouble

A holiday I don’t want to be involved

A Hallmark card and twenty bucks inside

See there, problem solved

So here’s my suggestion

And I hope we get it started

No more holidays that cost my time or money

You’ll just have to trust I am kind and big-hearted.