In the beginning was a box (bought wholesale at the flea circus gift shop) inside that box was a world. Outside that box were instructions: (be quiet, pay attention) __ Unwrap box along the perforated edge in the plastic provided for your convenience. Discard wrapping in recycling bin. Grab sharp utensil. stab holes inside the veil of the world. (This is so it can breathe. creation makes many beings, and worlds quite gass...

My first day on the job, Arrived quarter till nine; To the frowning Miss Fanny, I'd be a ray of sunshine. She peered over her glasses At my color-streaked hair; She was rethinking her bun, I could tell by her stare. "Sort the shelves in the back And empty this cart." Was my first given task, I was eager to start. Upon seeing the bookcases, My mouth gasped at the sight. I must restore order To this library's plight. "Twas...

There lives a dog who is six pounds and quite accustomed to many names, but none serve her more suitably than Pepé le Pew! Pepé le Pew has ears misproportioned to the size of her tiny head; did I mention one ear flops? No, no I believe I did not. She chases her tail and whines at a high pitch, flips on her back and bends her tiny paws, kisses are bountiful–but oh my, Pepé le Pew, you have bad breath! A delightful source o...

Regarding Truth and Beauty people often get too snooty since achieving them in art is overblown! For we who like to write about stuff that’s mundane and light our poems lack both and so they mostly stay unknown! But there is nothing wrong about side-stepping Falun Gong and simply knocking out a cutesy little ditty. Yes Communists are bad and all oppressors make us mad... but some of us just celebrate the witty! Grecian Ur...

An ongoing fixation upon life, death, and creation and a bunch of other existential folly, includes some inner raging about the effects of aging and prevents my mood from getting very jolly. Yes carolers are singing and the Christmas bells are ringing and some birdies even chirping in the trees. A branch is gently swaying from two squirrels that are playing... but I am also swaying from bad knees! Once taller than six fee...

A pensioner went to the surgery for a sperm count test. The doctor gave him a jar to provide a sample. Next day, the man returned with the empty jar. Curious, the doctor asked why. "Well, first I tried with my right hand, then with my left, nothing. Then, my wife tried with both hands. Still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, but still no joy. Vera from next door tried with both hands and her mouth too, but still not...

I am not sure how old the thick glass door is, but it might be from the early eighties. I swipe the access card, and the push bar lets me free inside the apartment. Waiting on the elevator now for the second floor, and I hear chattering behind me in Hindi. I peek through a long hallway behind a wall. And at the end of the hallway, I see a group of people in decent clothing, and each holds what appears to be the holy bible...

The bathroom at my office is this narrow affair.  Along one wall are sinks, then four urinals, and then six toilet stalls.  The other wall was paper towels, trash containers, and dryers.  The arrangement matters for this story. One day I was in the second stall when suddenly the earth shook.  No, not an earthquake, but someone let loose a gaseous emission that shook the stall walls.  It was absolutely phenomenal! From the...

Three men had been friends for most of their lives, from elementary school through college. They had even been working at the same firm since graduation. In their late twenties, they decided to go on vacation together to a remote tropical resort. Their names were Dave, Jimmy, and Roland. On the third morning of their vacation, they decided to go jogging on the beach. As the three friends ran along the edge of the surf, Ji...

  Way back when, a friend and I were sitting behind the wired backstop to the church camp’s dusty softball field, playing chess on a small travel board, while waiting for the game in progress to end. We had cleverly positioned ourselves so both of us could watch the softball game while playing the grand game of chess.  Then it happened.  Later investigations revealed a misplayed softball had found a hole in the backstop j...

I once bought a bag of chips A big ol’ bag all bright and yellow I opened the bag with a pair of snips So little inside I was one unhappy fellow.   I saw a pie I really wanted A nice big box to hold it all I ripped it open completely undaunted And found a pie so pathetically small.   I ordered a tool from an online shop It took forever to come in the mail What I got made my jaw drop Someone needs to go to jail.   I needed...

  The rain outside only made her isolation more draconian.  She had been placed under house arrest by her country’s vicious dictator, Klaus Heinrich, after she had attempted to pass military secrets to the enemy.  Her homeland had been at war for four years with neighboring Mueslichstan.  She had watched as their leader had imprisoned and murdered thousands of her fellow citizens.  She had not liked what she had seen. Sve...

Dining out in Edinburgh would not present an overwhelming challenge I did not think. We had left our hotel on Prince's Street and strolled down the hill towards the harbor. My lady was on my arm, a spring chill in the air, so we both wore long coats. Mine was a tan trenchcoat and matching Trilby. My wife wore a raincoat in anticipation of dampness from the evening skies. As we passed two young men coming from the opposite...

Making wine from oysters A mop bucket stands unused While muffins burn in the oven Swingsets rust in the rain.   Yet carpet covers hardwood As the moon serenades toads Beyond the furthest galaxy Three-eyed gargoyles play checkers.   A Dodge is missing a wheel Whilst hummingbirds seek pollen and poo The wind knocks over a For Sale sign Sirens howl as dogs reply.   My heart is rendered useless Shoes too tight and squeak Chu...

The tech lab shares a wall with their workstation, yet they need to take the long way around. Captain Euryale has mentioned adding a door in the detectives' station that would connect to the tech lab, but it would have to go in her office or they would need to rewire the entire room. Valerian's uncertain as to what she has decided. He doesn't bother knocking, just enters Devan's lab. Knocking doesn't make much difference,...