His Lordship of Norfolk
has upset his lovely wife.
This doesn't bode well
for the future harmony of his life.
Their Wedding Anniversary
he has failed to remember.
Too busy was he on Facebook
bothering a distant family member.
Her Ladyship cried, "Enough!
This I simply can't accept,
I'm taking away your laptop,
and cutting off our internet!"
"That adorable, sweet cousin of yours,
that you stalk on there all day.
will be scared to bloody death of you,
and she'll never come down to stay!"
His Lordship bowed his head in shame,
he knows his wife is always right.
He'd been bothering his dear sweet cousin,
he came to finally see the light.
He said, "My beloved, forgive me,
how can I make amends?"
She replied, "Put our wayward son back in your Will,
I'll go find you some paper and pens."
His Lordship sighed in resignation,
his wife was right, as always.
He quickly checked his laptop,
and that she wasn't hiding in any doorways.
Trying as hard as he possibly could
and with the very best of intentions.
He searched for gifts he could buy his wife
from what was left of his meagre pension.
But temptation got the best of him
he just had to take a look.
He saw his dear sweet cousin online,
she'd just posted on Facebook.
His fingers started typing;
of his free will, he lost control.
And then he saw another one,
and His Lordship began to Troll.
When Her Ladyship came back with pens,
she cried, "This time, you've gone too far!"
Snatching up his credit card,
she booked herself into a Spa.
So now His Lordship sits alone,
wearing a pair of smelly old socks.
His dear sweet cousin finally got a clue,
and his Facebook page she blocked.
All in all, he'd had better days,
he felt terribly upset.
No wife to cuddle, or cousin to stalk,
and no bloody internet!
Her Ladyship, however,
is getting pampered and sipping wine.
She knows for sure he won't forget
their Anniversary next time.
She allows him to believe he has control,
lets him choose his browsers.
But everyone in Norfolk knows,
that Her Ladyship wears the trousers!