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His Lordship Of Norfolk

everyone in Norfolk knows, that Her Ladyship wears the trousers.

His Lordship of Norfolk

has upset his lovely wife.

This doesn't bode well,

for the future harmony of his life.


Their Wedding Anniversary,

he had simply failed to remember.

Too busy was he on Facebook,

bothering a distant family member


Her Ladyship cried, "Enough!

This I simply can't accept."

"I'm taking away your laptop,

and cutting off our internet!"


"That adorable, sweet cousin of yours,

that you stalk on there all day."

"Will be scared to bloody death of you,

and she'll never come down to stay!"


His Lordship bowed his head in shame,

he knows his wife is always right.

He'd been cruel to his dear sweet cousin,

he came to finally see the light.


He said, "My beloved, forgive me,

how can I make amends?"

She replied, "Put Rob back in the will for starters,

I'll go find you some paper and pens."


His Lordship sighed in resignation,

his wife was right, as always.

He quickly checked his laptop,

and that she wasn't hiding in any doorways.


Trying as hard as he possibly could,

and with the very best of intentions.

He searched for gifts he could buy his wife,

from what was left of his meagre pension.


But temptation got the best of him,

he just had to take a look.

He saw his dear sweet cousin,

had just posted on Facebook.


His fingers started typing,

of his free will, he lost control.

And then he saw another one;

His Lordship began to Troll.


When Her Ladyship came back and saw,

she said, "This time you've gone too far!"

Snatching up his credit card,

she booked herself into a Spa. 


So now His Lordship sits alone,

wearing a pair of odd smelly socks.

His dear sweet cousin finally got a clue,

and his Facebook page she blocked.


All in all, he'd had better days,

he felt terribly upset.

No wife to cuddle, or cousin to stalk,

and no bloody internet.


Her Ladyship, however,

is getting pampered and sipping wine.

She knows for sure he won't forget,

their Anniversary next time.


She lets him believe he has control,

lets him choose his browsers.

But everyone in Norfolk knows,

that Her Ladyship wears the trousers. 




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Copyright © 2020 Copyright Kiera Hamilton. This work may not be copied, transmitted or used in any way, either in part or in full, without the author's express written permission.

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