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Not a proper goodbye

Tags: sad

something about someone who meant a lot to me

A message, a few lines that was all I received as goodbye.

A few words, telling me I need to move on.

I knew you would have preferred to tell me that directly

But time always played against us.

I read the short message, again and again.

I can’t help getting upset,

But soon I get a grip on myself,

I take a deep breath,

Force myself not to think about it,

And it works,

I think, a break up is so easy,

I can move on,

I’m not hurt,

And I write back,

Wishing you happiness in your life,

I mean every word of it.

Some people notice the change,

They tell me it must be sad,

But I tell them I’m fine,

I feel empty,

I say I knew it had to end anyways,

I can move on,

I like this feeling,

Indifference, it makes everything so easy.

One day goes by,

I feel empty,

Not a moment of sadness,

I’m relieved in a way.

I feel the lack of emotions makes me strong

I’m still convinced I can go on,

I don’t have any tears for you.

But it does not last forever,

Suddenly I feel anger,

Anger towards you,

Anger towards me,

I start wishing I could hate you,

Yet I can’t bring myself to do that.

I start remembering the good times,

Those moments of happiness,

Those silly moments as well,

Then one morning I get another message from you,

This time I can’t hold it,

The message does not say much,

But it’s enough for me to lose control,

And I feel so bad,

I want to suddenly disappear,

I can’t fight it anymore,

I let my tears fall,

And I cry and cry,

I curse myself for getting emotional,

Why should I cry for something that is now gone?

I don’t have an answer,

I feel pathetic,

Alone

But I know,

Things will be fine,

I need to get used to it,

I’ll be fine,

I just need time.

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