Who invented this language that we speak?
Does a bucket leek or leak?

Why is there a K in knife or knee?
And who the hell spelled psychiatry?

English is spelled just how it sounds.
Yet everything else is meant to confound.

I before E except in weigh?
OK, fine, but end in GH you say?

An ' contracts but a … omits?
Who's to say what punctuation fits?

Does a person have a sole or soul?
Maybe we better take a pole. Or poll?

Stake for dinner with a side of beats?
And don't forget a role and maybe some pees.

Why aren't words the way we hear them?
Oh yeah… I remember now… phlegm.

Knowledge is our friend you say?
I before E and that damn silent K.

Fourteen punctuations and only twenty-six letters.
Is it possible we need more letter getters?

Won or one or to or too or two.
Whose and who's or just a who or whoo.

Hi or high or buy, by, bye or bi.
It's enough to make a person cry.

I've had it up to here, do you hear?
All these effects have affects I fear.

So one more thing before I go.
Just say no to what you know.

For my two cents they make no sense.
Then again, maybe I'm two dense.