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Pretending

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I can't pretend that I don't miss them
Not while I'm still looking at their pictures.
I can't pretend I don't see them
Walking past the café on fourth.
I can't pretend I don't hear them
Not when they're shouting.
I can't pretend that I can be free
Not during this agony.

Sometimes, you have to love someone enough to let them go.
But I can't let them go. 
I still hear everything they're thinking, like a part of me has ruptured 
And I still believe they're out there, waiting for me.

I believe that I can save them.
Even when reason tells me I can't.
They aren't mine anymore.
They're someone else's mess to clean up
Someone else will kiss them goodnight
Say it's alright,
Time flies by and by tomorrow they'll be out of my head
But I can't pretend anymore, that I don't love them,
Because I do.

Because I can pretend that they weren't important,
when people ask,
I can pretend I didn't care,
I can pretend so many things and that is all the world really is, a collection pretending things,
and I can join right in and pretend along with the billions of others,
and I can say that I don't even remember what they smelled like,
and I can still laugh and cry,
and I can still make fun at their expense, 
and I can still walk with them to Dash Café,
and I can still pretend along with the rest of the world, because we all fall in line at some point, join in the pretense,
and I can still pretend to be someone who pretends,
but I won't.

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