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Two Humorous Stories

Fruit Trees and Stupid People;

My trees are full of fruit,

my neighbors gather in groups.

Oranges and Grapefruit everywhere,

and there goes my neighbor,.. ( in

his underwear. I give them away for

free..) O.M.G. now he's on his knees.

They bring over bags, buckets and carts,

you would think it's a blue light special

at Wal-Mart. At night they think they

are being smart, with their FLASHLIGHTS

waving in the dark. I whisper softly, go 

ahead and take the fruit, but don't break

the branches because it hurts the roots.

I watch this go on every year, as I peer

out from over my fence. They pull and 

they yank, my only request is,.. (Please 

neighbor.. WEAR SOME PANTS.

...... by LinDA

************** Next Story ***************

What if GOD had an Answering Machine ?

What if God had an answering machine, what message would Teenagers leave on it ??

You have reached the phone of God, sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but at the BEEP leave your name...and I MAY get back with you.....

#.. God, it's me again and I have more names for you to put on your list to smite people.
#.. God, why do we still exist? Is time not up yet? 
#.. God, Why can't you keep the moon light up EVERY night? 
#.. God, I know you are doing the best you can... but REALLY.
#.. Can you do something about the COLD weather in the winter, maybe warm it up some more?
#.. I didnt think orange went with purple untill I saw the sunset you made last night.
#.. God, Why is it that you always showed up in the olden days, but no one can find you now?
#.. How do you KNOW that you are God, did someone tell you that?
#.. God, can you please come down here and clean up all this mess we made?
#.. God, Why do they use BIG words in the Bible?
#.. God, Is it hard o Love EVERYONE? I hate my brother and half the School...

I wrote this story in 2004.......... by LinDA

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © <------@ do not copy my work or I will hunt you down@

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