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Two Humorous Stories

Fruit Trees and Stupid People;

My trees are full of fruit,

my neighbors gather in groups.

Oranges and Grapefruit everywhere,

and there goes my neighbor,.. ( in

his underwear. I give them away for

free..) O.M.G. now he's on his knees.

They bring over bags, buckets and carts,

you would think it's a blue light special

at Wal-Mart. At night they think they

are being smart, with their FLASHLIGHTS

waving in the dark. I whisper softly, go 

ahead and take the fruit, but don't break

the branches because it hurts the roots.

I watch this go on every year, as I peer

out from over my fence. They pull and 

they yank, my only request is,.. (Please 

neighbor.. WEAR SOME PANTS.

...... by LinDA

************** Next Story ***************



What if GOD had an Answering Machine ?

What if God had an answering machine, what message would Teenagers leave on it ??

You have reached the phone of God, sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but at the BEEP leave your name...and I MAY get back with you.....

#.. God, it's me again and I have more names for you to put on your list to smite people.
#.. God, why do we still exist? Is time not up yet? 
#.. God, Why can't you keep the moon light up EVERY night? 
#.. God, I know you are doing the best you can... but REALLY.
#.. Can you do something about the COLD weather in the winter, maybe warm it up some more?
#.. I didnt think orange went with purple untill I saw the sunset you made last night.
#.. God, Why is it that you always showed up in the olden days, but no one can find you now?
#.. How do you KNOW that you are God, did someone tell you that?
#.. God, can you please come down here and clean up all this mess we made?
#.. God, Why do they use BIG words in the Bible?
#.. God, Is it hard o Love EVERYONE? I hate my brother and half the School...

I wrote this story in 2004.......... by LinDA

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Copyright © <------@ do not copy my work or I will hunt you down@

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