Within

I feel like I've lost a battle I didn't even know that I was fighting.
A war for the carnal desires and attention of my wife.
I'm the one who took myself out of the fight right from the start.
More than just my physical inabilities have gotten in the way.
I stare at the same screen now that I've stared at so much before that I've allowed to get in the way.
It's all been a choice, and it's all been mine.
But not her, no longer....my choice, as I see it now.
Deemed unworthy of knowing the truth,at least in its entirety...why should I know?
A little bitch, all that I've ever been in my whole life.
I have failed my wife as well as my children.
I can't have failed myself, I never gave myself a chance to begin with.
I just want to be ended, something I would never do myself.