Kissing the girl
Errin slipped out through one of the side doors, the hot and sticky summer air enveloped her. The heatwave has rolled over the city the past few days relentless and scorching. She needed some cool air, for more than one reason. The red wine, tequila and the usual cigarette with wine have unlocked bottled up feelings. She sighed, she had hoped that the night air would cool her down and clear her mind, but the hot air was not doing the trick.
It did not help that when she closed her eyes, her drunken haze recreated Sara in front of her relaxed in her T-shirt and mini skirt. There should be a law against someone looking that good and not knowing it.
She took a cigarette out of the packet she had stolen from Paul, lit it and inhaled deeply. She needed the strange peace the city lights brought; it helped her to refocus and re-balance.
“I saw you walking out, all ok?” Inwardly Errin cringed, she needed more time to refocus and put Sara in the far reaches of her mind. Her mind was still fogged up from the wine and tequila.
Not looking at the voice of her torment, “I am fine, just needed some air, it has become quite stuffy inside.”
The unexpected light touch of Sara’s hand on her arm sent shivers through Errin’s body. “You can’t be cold in this heat,” Sara joked. The uncontrolled pain and longing it sparked made Errin pulled her arm back quicker than she should have, “I told you I am fine!”
“I know something is wrong, but barking at me is not going to help this. What is going on with you? I thought we were friends, but you have been swinging between hot and cold the last few weeks. Something is up with you, and I am trying to understand.”
“Sara, I am too drunk to make sense tonight, or I might just say something I would really regret tomorrow, so for my own sanity go inside and enjoy the party,” Errin looked at the night sky, her back to Sara, she hoped that her friend will let it rest and go back inside.
Sara didn’t, she moved closer, so close that Errin felt her body heat. The heat, the wine, “Don’t do anything stupid, please do not do anything stupid,” it was like a mantra over and over in her mind. Sara’s hand went to the small of her back, comforting, but it made Errin barely hold on to her resolve.
She half turned into Sara, they were so close that they could feel each other’s breath, “Sara, we are friends, and as a friend I am asking you to back off, go inside and enjoy yourself, I am fine, I will be fine if you go inside,” Errin’s words were a whisper, it carried a plea.
“I am your friend; I am not going to go inside when I know something is wrong.” All Errin was aware of was Sara’s mouth inches away from hers, her intoxication wiping away boundaries and rules.
Her eyes could not leave Sara’s mouth, and she leaned forward and softly kissed her, she knew she was destroying a friendship, that she was giving up their friendship for a moment, a memory.
Sara’s hand came to rest lightly on her chest and she pushed her away ever so gently. “Hmm, I think I am the reason for what is wrong with you,” she sighed lightly and looked Errin fully in the eyes. “You know I am straight, you are my friend, and I do not want to lose that.”
Errin closed her eyes, the feel of Sara’s lips still on hers, but also the growing ache of loss. Sara looked at her with a sad smile and then turned around and walked back to the party.
Time cannot be turned back, so Errin went back inside to the party, she drank, smoked, joked and did not look in the direction of Sara. The one time their eyes caught accidentally, there was a softness of understanding in Sara’s eyes, but Errin was too drunk to see it.
As the evening went along, she started to remember less and less of the night.
