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Departing

The happiest person in your life could hurt you the most.

Having companionship can be the happiest thing in life, but saying goodbye to your companion can be extremely depressing. While you are having so much fun around him, suddenly, he is gone. Either migrated or death, you felt his presence has disappeared in your life. Everything changes. Different laughs, different smiles, different atmosphere, living in a different world.

In the earlier stage, it will be the most painful process. There are two scenarios that could happen. One will be you being completely honest with the other person. You take a deep breath and beat around the bush. Finally, the worst part of all, you tell the other person that you are leaving or your days are numbered. That person's heart would sink, his world would have stopped moving, thinking about you leaving, nothing more. However, this feeling does not end in a day, it does not, trust me. Even though you have not left him, he already missed you so much. There will be tears shed, loss of appetite and his mind could only think of one thing over and over again like a cycle. Of you, departing.

You may have thought that is depressing but not until I tell you the second scenario. Both of you are happy, joy filled the room, boisterous laughs echoed and staring at the familiar face who introduced you to an enjoyable time. He does not know what is going on, but you do. You chose to keep quiet and live up to the moment. Until the day comes or when your friend finds out what is going on. That is it, literally, it will be the worse day that you will experience. You lied to him, you betrayed him, and you ruined him. They will feel not only sad but also be full of hatred as anger possessed him because you did not tell him earlier. In the end, both of you will be in distraught, on a bed, sobbing.

Honestly speaking, they are both bad. Even up till now, I am still not sure what the right thing to do is. I was a victim of the first scenario. It did not go well. Although it was the right thing to do for him, the amount of sadness that I had was unbelievable. After many comforts, it starts to fade but it was not easy to let go of what he said to me.

While playing my part, the downhearted guy, I also have a choice to make. To continue playing the game or to fold the card. Think it is rather simple to choose, let me tell you the reality. It is not. You can either stay happy as he is still by your side until he really departs or be sad as he is leaving soon. Most of us will be stuck in the second category just because we cannot accept the fact that he is going to be away from you. Personally, I was contemplating of what to do. I chose to stay happy as I do not want to be selfish. I would not want to share my pain with him as well and should be happy so that he will stop worrying about my sadness. However, it does not work that way. I tried being happy but deep inside my heart, there is a scream shrieking, “HE IS GONNA BE GONE!” always. Sometimes, you just cannot help it. You kept denying the truth but in the end, it will still happen.

By any chance if you are facing this cruel situation, be optimistic. Think of it as positively as possible such as he is not leaving and etc. You will need the thoughts to be out of your mind completely to enjoy the rest of the days with him. Make full use of them and live up to the moment. Do not let sadness take over your body. Conquer it!

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