At bedtime, Daddy smells like cigarettes. He smokes one out in the garage every night after supper. Mommy calls it his filthy habit. He doesn’t let me go out there with him. He tells me to never, ever smoke. If I start smoking, it’ll never let me go. That’s what Daddy says.

Mommy smells like bubbles. She does the dishes after we eat, while Daddy is smoking his cigarette. That what she smells like: the soap from the dishes. She also smells like flowers, because the lotion she uses smells like flowers. She smells like other stuff too. So does Daddy. Adults have lots of smells. Perfume. Coffee. Toothpaste.

Every night Mommy and Daddy give me a bath. They help me brush my teeth. Then they let me go to bed all by myself. I’m growing up!

After I put myself to bed, they come in together. They kiss me goodnight, and tuck the covers. They sing me songs. After that they leave. I go to sleep, and I wake back up, and it’s a new day!

Sometimes they go out. Date night. On those nights they get me a babysitter, Alyssa, this older girl from down the street. She’s nice.  On those nights, they give me my bath just like normal, but after my bath, I get to stay up and watch TV with Alyssa for a whole hour. Then I go to bed. Alyssa won’t tuck me in, but she will sing. She seems bored. She sings bad songs. I like it better when Mommy and Daddy sing.

One night, date night, after I’d watched Octonauts with Alyssa, I went to bed, and went to sleep.

A ruckus outside my door woke me up. The phone rang. Alyssa answered, and I thought I heard her crying. My door creaked open, then closed. Alyssa was checking on me.

The doorbell rang and the front door opened. Whispered voices. I thought I recognized who was at the door: Alyssa’s parents. Again, my door creaked open, and closed. Alyssa’s parents were checking on me.    

I fell back asleep, until I heard the door creak open again. I opened my eyes. It was dark out, and no cars were out on the streets, so I knew it was late.

Mommy and Daddy came into my room.

They don’t usually do that. On date night, when they come home, they let me sleep.

This night they opened my door. They stood in the doorway.

Mommy asked me, “Did you have fun with the babysitter tonight?”

“I did! We watched Octonauts til 9!”

My daddy talked next. “That’s late. Lisa let you stay up that long?”

“Her name’s not Lisa, Daddy. It’s Alyssa.”

“Of course it is, honey,” said Mommy. She took a few steps into the room, closer to me.

“Alyssa. Of course.” Daddy stepped a little closer too.

I didn’t smell cigarettes on him. I usually can. Even after he washes. Sometimes I say, “I can smell your filthy habit, Daddy,” and he laughs. But I didn’t say it this time. He didn’t smell like cigarettes.

He smelled like dirt. He smelled like dead leaves.

Mommy stepped closer. “Do you want to come with us, Danny?” I didn’t smell her usual soapy hands. She smelled like the garbage can. You know, like in the summer, when it’s been sitting around for awhile?

Maybe Mommy had been taking out the trash.

Daddy stepped up so he was standing next to her. “Yes. Come with us!”

I curled into my covers. “Come with you where? It’s late!”

“Somewhere wonderful!” said Mommy.

“And you don’t have to worry about staying up late. No clocks! You don’t ever have to sleep again!”

“Come with us,” they said together. They smelled like all sorts of things. Dirt. Pennies. Worms and bugs. Rain. 

“I’m tired,” I told them. “Can’t we just stay home?”

“This will be your new home!” said Daddy.

“Let us take you there!” said Mommy.

“Your new home….” they said together.     

I looked out the window to see that it was almost morning. Alyssa’s parents were pulling up in front of the house. What did they want?

Alyssa let them in. She must have stayed the night, to keep me company.

When the front door opened, my parents looked suddenly scared.

Mommy said, “You can stay here if you want to, honey. We’ll stay here with you.” Her body rushed across the room, as if blown by the wind. It made the sound of blowing leaves.

“Yes,” said Daddy. “We’ll stay here! We can take you to your real home later.” Even though he didn’t move his legs, his body flew forward, so he was next to Mommy. I heard that same sound, of leaves blowing along the gutter in the street.

They looked littler than they used to look.

I said, “Stay here with me? In my room?”

They both nodded their heads. As their heads bobbed up and down, I saw they were growing even smaller.

“Where?”

Their heads were by now barely above the surface of the mattress.

“Why, right here under the bed!” cried Daddy.

“Yes! We’ll be close to you! Closer than we’ve ever been!” cried my Mommy.  And with that, they both got on their hands and knees and scuttled under my bed like crabs.

I was too scared to look. I was too scared to sleep.

Alyssa and her parents knocked on my door a while later. I don’t know how long it was, but the sun had come up by then.

They sat me down and told me the news. A terrible car accident. All three of them were crying, way more than I was. I began to tell them that my parents were fine, they were just under my bed. But just as the words started coming out of my mouth, I heard my Mommy and Daddy go, “Shhhhh,” in the voice of the leaves.

Alyssa’s parents got me dressed and put me in their car and we drove to a big building where I talked to adults all day long. They called me “Buddy” and “Champ” and “Sport.” One of them told me my parents were asleep. Another one said they had crossed a bridge.

They weren’t on any bridge. I knew where they were.

At the end of the day, all the adults sat down at a table with me and told me that Alyssa’s parents were going to take care of me. I wouldn’t have to move to their house, though. They all decided moving me out of the house right away would be bad for me. They used this word: traumatic.

So, I’m in bed again. Alyssa and her parents are in the living room, watching TV.

I’m huddling under my covers, scared to look under the bed. I smell dirt. Pennies. Worms and bugs and rain.

I’m listening for a voice made from leaves, telling me it’s time to go to my real home.