Latest Forum Posts:

Categories

Open Letters

General open letters

Unlike my other two 'Open letters' that I have written, these are very general and do not fit into any specific category like my makeup and underwear open letters. These are just general topics from my everyday life, that I am sharing with you, my internet friends. Also, on a side note, apparently open letters are now my thing as this will be the third 'installment' of open letters I have published. 

Dear the girl I live with- The word gas is spelled with one S not two. I have tried to tell you this before, but it is hard to bring something like that up, without sounding like a know-it-all dickhead. Also, the word frequent is spelled as I have just demonstrated. It is not 'freekwent'. 

Dear coffee - You are so addictive, and I find that I cannot function without you now. I also think coffee is tricking me, as I am fairly certain I don't even like the taste, I've just grown accustomed to it over the five or so years I've been drinking it, and now I need it. Despite the fact that I am certain you are tricking me into believing that the stronger the coffee, the better, I still won't add sugar to you. Some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol or gambling; I am addicted to coffee it seems. You're welcome mum and dad. 

Dear the girl who works at the Turkish restaurant not far from where I live - Please stop giving me two forks. Bitch please, you know this food is all for me and no one else. What are you playing at?

Dear Cristine of Simplynailogical - Can I be your best friend? You have sexualised nail polish in a way that I did not think possible. Before, nail polish was neither here nor there for me, but now I find myself drifting to the nail polish section and the hand-care section in the local Plaza (after of course going to the makeup section) and spending so long there looking for the different types of nail polish. I also never knew I was holosexual until now. Thank you. 

Dear the cat who lives next door - Please stop leaving your kill on our doorstep. It is gross. Please stop, this is not your house. Go and surprise your owner with the prize of your kill, not us. 

Dear Oregon Trail - You are surprisingly fun to play. I never thought a game where technically nothing happens, could be so much fun. I know what will happen and I know how it goes, Margaret will break her leg, Chris will get a snakebite, someone will get cholera and then exhaustion, but you are so much fun. 

Dear Americans - I know New Zealand said that in extremis of Trump winning, you could come and live with us. Yeah about that, we didn't think it would come to this, and we weren't serious, as we all thought Trump was not serious. We have no room for you guys here. We are in the middle of a housing crisis ourselves, with foreign investors 'buying' New Zealand. The housing market prices keep increasing, and it is hard to buy a house here at the moment, so we would have nowhere to put you, let alone be able to afford to water and feed you. Also, a friend of the people I live with has the couch already, so sorry guys. 

These open letters aren't as long as my other ones, and I am sure that after they are published, I will think of more things to write about, for now, I have got everything off my chest that I needed. I feel so much better now.

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than storiesspace.com with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © All rights reserved. Under no circumstances are the stories, characters or settings to be re-produced in any way without the express permission of LauraDanielle. If you are seeing this story anywhere other than Stories Space then it has been copied without permission. No part of this story may be transmitted or reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopied, recording or otherwise without prior permission from LauraDanielle.

All characters and situations are fictitious unless otherwise stated that the situations/characters are real, any fictitious characters that bear any likeness, to living person(s) is purely coincidental and not intended to harm. {2016-2019}

To link to this story from your site - please use the following code:

<a href="https://www.storiesspace.com/stories/humor/open-letters.aspx">Open Letters</a>

Comments (9)

Tell us why

Please tell us why you think this story should be removed.

Reason