I think I have came upon the answer that not only historians, but the women of the world have asked since the beginning of time.
From the second that parents find out they are going to have a daughter, it immediately starts.
She has such a wonderful future facing her. I just know she will grow up to be a beautiful mommy. She will make someone a wonderful wife. A marvelous mom to her own children. I can visualize her keeping a fantastic house like I do. With my guidance and my knowledge in the kitchen passed down to her, she will be a scrumptious cook.
Maybe this process starts in the womb. Talking to her and letting her know that I feel she will look just like her daddy. Maybe combined with her mommy's brains and compassion for everyone. “Sweetie, you are going to be prefect and live a wonderful life,” the parents whisper to the growing baby.
Have you ever noticed when people come to see the new baby, they bring her a baby doll. By the time she has her third birthday, her gift is a stroller so she can push her baby dolls. She is always reminded to take good care of the babies. You don't want to hurt your babies and she hears this for years.
Oh my gosh, she is five already. It's time to get her a stove and tea set, so she can have her first tea party. Sweetie that she is, wants to share, serve tea and her cake that she baked in her make believe oven. She invites daddy, mommy, all her friends that comes to visit. It's awesome to have parties and serve everyone. See how easy this lesson has entered into her little mind. A child's brain is just like a sponge, soaking up knowledge for later in life.
We can now add hostess to her future as her memories of these parties will be wonderful ones and she will look forward to having her own place and entertaining friends.
By the time she is six or seven, she wants a baby brother or sister. She wants to take care of her sibling. Take walks with the baby in the stroller. Be a mommy and play with the new arrival. And so it begins.
This little adorable girl doesn't have a chance in the world. She was groomed growing up. Taught to be a housewife, chauffeur, nurse, a financial wizard, teacher and counselor. Let's not forget the sounding board for her hubby. The poor underpaid, mistreated, unappreciated man of the house. That has to work every day and can't wait to get home to someone who loves him. Who understands his misery of having to be out in that jungle every day.
When he arrives home it is beyond him why I can't relax and let him tell me about his day. “Can't you sit still for just a few minutes and listen to me? I have had a terrible day and I need to get it off my chest.”
His wife is trying to be understanding, “Just a moment dear, I'll turn the oven down and we can eat later, you go ahead and tell me about your day.”
After all, this is why I was born, to drop everything at a moment's notice, to be here for my husband whenever he needs me. We can always eat pizza if dinner burns up, just as long as you feel better, I think to myself.
I sit there, listening, nodding my head when necessary. Every once in a while I yell, “All right children, we will eat in just a few minutes, dad is winding down from his day.”
As the years pass by, I have finally reached a spot in my life where my husband doesn't have the need or the time to discuss his work. He certainly doesn't want to hear about my day, after all, I have spent most of my days pretty much the same since I said I do.
I get up in the morning before anyone else. Throw a load of dirty clothes in the washer. Set the table, get breakfast started, yelling for everyone to wake up, “You are going to be late for work, hon and if you kids miss the school bus, I am not going to drive you.”
They are all at the table and gobbling down their food. No one seems to know what I have prepared for them. Nor how much time and effort it took to get them ready to face their day. They are now running around, screaming for their back packs. Hubby hollers, "Have you seen my briefcase?"
Praise the Lord, the door slams, they have all left for their day. Now I can have peace and quiet until school lets out.
Yes, it is time I pour myself a cup of coffee. I sit down and prop my feet up. For the next fifteen minutes I enjoy the silence. By this time I'm feeling guilty, after all, I do have the house to clean up. Pick up the bathrooms, laundry to finish. Needing to go to the grocery store and the cleaners to pick up my husband's suits, I need to get a move on. Thoughts run through my head, do I have time to have some lunch while I am out? That is a dream for another day, certainly there isn't enough time today.
While standing in line at the grocery store, for about the hundred thousandth time it comes to me again. I don't remember anything in that marriage license that said all this stuff was the wife's job. I remember about obey, till death do us part. Couple of other things like that. Not a thing about cooking, cleaning, running a shuttle bus. Especially being a mother to this gorgeous guy standing there, promising to love me forever.
I might have had second thoughts if I had read the job description, looked at the whole picture that came with the title, "Wife." I am fairly certain I would have changed my mind and lived the life of an old spinster, with a cute cat and bunny slippers.
I know this sounds as if I am bashing men, I am not. I realize life would be very dull without you guys. I truly do feel if you are a baby boomer or older, life was very different back then. Women were born to take care of everything on the home front.
Men were to work and support the family. Right or wrong, this was the way life evolved. My problem with this way of thinking is women learn to do all these required tasks and to live with her man and his set ways. Why is it impossible for men to learn to cook even the simplest thing, to bathe a child, to do a load of laundry when his wife is ill.
My favorite one is, when I have just sat and spilled my guts out, explaining a problem I am having, I pause and ask, “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing," he replies, “I am just listening to you.”
“Your mind is totally blank? Not one thing comes to mind, you're just listening to me?”
The innocent look he gives me as he states, “Yes, just listening.”
Now I'm thinking, how can anyone listen to another person for the better part of a hour and have no thoughts at all, a totally blank mind.
Fellows, this is why your wife looks and acts like she could kill you at times. Right or wrong, she needs and wants a response. A thought, some kind of reaction from you.
My hubby is sitting there thinking, “What did I do? Why in God's name is she mad now? I am just sitting here letting her talk.”
I often wonder why we always fall for our opposite, it truly seems like it, you like to party, spend time with friends, travel then pick someone who likes all or at least some of those things.
I have several friends that when we speak of our lives, they run almost parallel. Lots of marriages face these problems and no one seems to have an answer.
When asked what would he like for dinner? He responds, “Anything.”
I have spent long hours searching food shops, my own kitchen, have even asked a waitress if they served a dish called Anything but to no avail. It doesn't seem to appear when needed. It sure would make my life as a cook much easier if I could find it. Frozen, fresh, no matter, I could do something with it.
It is a fact that things that seem so simple to a woman is impossible to comprehend by a man.
I am fairly sure men feel the same way, that women are impossible to figure out.
After many years of marriage, the nest is empty except for the two of us, I'm sitting in my recliner, I look over at this man I have lived with most of my life and smile. He is sleeping through the movie, so relaxed, seemingly not a worry in the world and I realize how happy I am that he is there. Has always been there and all the differences slide away and I thank God for my husband that has always stood by me.
Till death do us part. Yes, I would have it no other way...