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Wedding DJ

"Memories of a wedding DJ"

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Yes, I was a wedding DJ. I started in biz when DJ's were still considered a novelty. Here are examples of what I experienced. Wedding receptions fall into four categories: Great, Good, Bad and The Worst. 

The GREAT ones are comprised of about 15% of the receptions. The GOOD ones are about 75%, The Bad and Worse ones are the rest. These receptions are usually the fault of the people who contracted me and their guests.

They are the people that can't seem to have a good time no matter what, and are looking to blame someone for their lack of a good time, usually the DJ gets the blame. Let me give you some examples.

My first wedding reception was among my GREATEST ones. This was for a police officer, the bride was the cop. During the interview we hit it off right away, ignoring her dad, fiancee and my boss as we talked shop, I was a cop too at the time. Her father looked at my boss as he reached for the contract and said "She likes him, he'll do fine".

The hall was small and at max capacity I had to stack my equipment in a corner to make room for the catering staff to enter with the food. I wasn't able to sit at a table to eat because they had so many guests, so they set one up in that hallway, it wasn't too bad as I got first dibs at the food as they walked by.

This was a FUN group and danced to everything, no complaints. I also learned that the bride couldn't drink very much as she was scheduled to go on duty at 6AM the next day due to a scheduling snafu. 

I was informed much later from one of her bosses that it was a scam. She would report to the station where during roll call they would present her with 2 round trip tickets to Hawaii and a police escort would take her and her new husband (that she believed was at home in bed, but was actually downstairs with their luggage packed) to the airport.

Everybody was dancing and having a great time. While playing "Shout" I noticed a large beefy gentleman holding his chest while dancing, I mentioned my concern to the bride who said "Not to worry, he's an on call detective who loves to dance and doesn't want his gun to fall out of his holster". Later she approached me and asked if I carried the "Rodeo Song". If you never heard the "Rodeo Song" its hard to explain, but It's an X rated song set to a real country beat.

I said I have it, but she needs to check with her Dad about me playing it. As he was paying me I did not want Dad pissed off at me for playing it. Dad walked over and and asked if I had the song in question, I said "Yes" and attempted to describe it, he said to "play it", so I did, five times before the end of the reception.

When I got back to my boss' house to turn in the car, equipment and the check I told him about the reception and the request. His face went white and he yelled ,"You don't play the fucking Rodeo Song at weddings." "They tipped me 100 bucks", I told him. Without missing a beat he yelled "play whatever they fruckin want"...

I did another great wedding for a cop. He was explaining to me during the set-up that most of the Groomsmen, Bridesmaids and bartenders were cops. "The only one here that isn't a cop is you", he didn't say it to be mean or condescending.

I started to laugh and he looked at me puzzled. I took out my wallet and "badged" him. "Oh my God", he yelled to his wedding party. "The DJ is one of us." It was a GREAT wedding and I can't remember driving home.

At another one of those GREAT receptions a very pretty young lady flirted and talked with me most of the evening. She brought me beer and we did a few shots, she even suggested a couple of songs that were a big hit with the crowd.

Later we even shared a few slow dances as the evening was winding down and I put the system on remote control. So the reception ends and I begin to tear down my equipment. I then head out to the van to get the 2 wheeler so I can start loading.

This very pretty young lady is waiting by the side of my van. Words were not necessary and after a passionate embrace and a long lingering kiss we go at it like two sex starved maniacs in the back of the van. When we finish I return to the hall (on shaking legs) and begin wheeling my equipment out.

Upon completion I go to say goodbye to the bride and groom, they thank me for a great job and tip me, and they invite me back to the after party being held on the 5th floor of this hotel which they rented out.

As I approached, they had been engaged in conversation with a man that I found out earlier was the pretty young lady's Father. "Pardon my observation", I said. "You have a very pretty Daughter". " Don't I know it" was his response. " I am going to have my hands full when she turns 18". My heart froze. " When she turns 18?", I managed to say in a surprised voice free of the fear I was feeling " How old is she now?" "She just turned 17", was his response, "so don't get any ideas", he joked. I almost fainted.

Even a DJ can get into trouble if he is not careful..

One of the WORST wedding receptions I ever did was for a group of Deadheads, you know those morons that are still mentally stuck in the late 60's and follow the Grateful Dead..

I was contracted by the bride's Father who said "I don't want to hear that shit all night". This was a large wedding with 98% of the guest over 30 and not fans of the Grateful Dead. I played my butt off and all except the the Deadheads had a good time.

When it came time for the bridal dance I was given a cassette tape to play. It was a poor bootleg copy of a poor bootlegged copy. The volume was so bad, I'm sure the recorder was hidden under a jacket or in a purse that at one point I thought it was over and began to lower the volume.

Both the Bride and the Groom yelled that "It ain't fucking over yet"..I finally said "Fuck It" and put on one of their albums. The Maid-of Honor (a 300 pounder stuffed into a red satin dress) came over and said something to the effect of "At least you're playing some decent music". To which I responded "That's YOUR opinion, personally I think this is garbage". They filed a complaint and the boss gave them a small refund outta my check.

This last story has been repeated to me word for word, so there must be some truth in it. Who the actual DJ was that was performing at this event is still a mystery, although I know three that claimed they were. Anyway it seemed one of my DJ friends was performing at a large reception and everything was going well. Dinner came and went without a hitch and then it was time for the bridal dance, so the bride went off in search of her groom. She returned a bit later and asked the DJ if she may use his mike, not an uncommon request.

So he lowered the music and handed her the mike. "I have an announcement to make", the Bride said. "The reception is over and so is this marriage, I just caught my new husband with the Maid of Honor. Please take back your gifts and cards and good night". She handed the DJ the mike and exited the building..

Published 
Written by The_Count
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