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Mirror

Hard to stand here? You bet ya.

You know what's funny? How easy it is to give up on something you cared so much about. You constantly tell yourself that you could never give up that something, whether it be a hobby, a loved one, or even yourself. The last is surprisingly easy though, a few blows to your ego and...

                                                                                               POW!
                                                                          
                                                                           CLASH!
                                                                                                               BANG!

Insert your favorite comic book fight scene reenactment here. That's it, kid, hope is gone.

The shittiest part though? The domino effect after that, how slowly and surely everyone around you gives up on you too. I mean, why would they waste their breath on someone who doesn't have ears to listen, right? Why knock on your door and try when you don't open up? No robe, slippers and a trail of tears to show them what they already suspected. It's there, under the fake smiles and the twinges of hurt in your eyes, but they stopped asking, and you stopped telling.

You clammed up so hard an oyster would tell you to relax.

So why don't you? Why CAN'T you?

Okay, so let's be real with one another right now. We can do this one of two ways. Blame others, that always works. Shift the blame somewhere else so it's easier to breathe... For you. Or we can blame some horrible part of your life that affected you tremendously and makes you shut down, but facts are: That's still blaming something else. Someone else.

Head up high, look into that mirror and let's blame who we see there. Yeah, that's hard, but nothing that's truly right is easy. You know that, so let's revisit that question again. Why CAN'T you?

Scared.

That's weak. Try again.

Terrified.

Of what? I'm getting bored here.

Coward.

THERE YA GO! By golly, I think she's got it! Sure, you're scared, terrified even, but not of what you lead people to believe. You're scared of that small thing inside of you, trying so desperately to be unharmed, because you're a coward. Can't face who you really are, shitty lies and half-truths. Imperfections. Would rather scream and cry in a fight than admit blame. Sink deeper and deeper pining blame where it doesn't belong.

Even though you know where it goes.

So you give up trying, to be a good person. That little ray of sunshine everyone thought you were.

“You changed.”

No. I stopped trying, and soon, so will you. Again, no blame game here. No Russian Roulette of guilt. Just you.

Change?

Well yea, dumbass. But how? What's that program? The one with the steps? Admitting is the first step, don't look at me like that, I'm not being an asshole here. Truth just sucks, and so do you. So fix it.

Easily said.

Hard to do? Man, you're just a genius. You should write a book. Call it Sherlock, I bet you'll sell out before the printing press comes to a stop for the day. Just stop lying. That's a way. Not to everyone else, but to me.

To you.

The Mirror.

And maybe? Just maybe. Everyone won't disappear.


 

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