Tuesdays, as I’ve remarked before, are kind of boring. It’s not their fault - they just happen to be situated in the most boring slot of ye olde work week. But how can we consider a day named for a god who’s so hard core that he allowed a wolf-demon to bite his hand off just so it could be chained to prevent the twilight of the gods (which didn’t work forever, but every little bit counts) boring?
Crazy stuff. No, it’s time we gave Tuesday the love it deserves.
All of which is a long-winded (surprise surprise) way of saying - I’ve got tomorrow off, and you better believe I’m gonna make the most of it. Wild and free, baby! Wind in my hair, playing hookie, YOLOing, and all that.
But how best to spend a free day in this crazy world of ours? What can we humans do to distract us from the creeping hand of the grave, drawing ever nearer?
Well, here’s a few things you might want to do next time you find yourself in my position (did I mention I’ve got the day off? Cos I totally do).
Invent a new kind of sandwich. You can put practically anything between two slices of bread, and limiting yourself to cheese and tomato or PB and J is just sad. Meatloaf, peanut butter and corn flakes on white, anyone?*
Swim in a river, lake or dam - or ocean, I guess. Those are pretty nice, too. See, our ancestors never swam in comfy chlorinated temperature-controlled swimming pools, you know. Get back to your roots and splash around like they did in the old days.
Try a new sport. Work up a sweat and have a great time playing squash, golf, basketball, waterpolo, kite surfing, fencing - the possibilities are endless. And then there’s the weird stuff - bog snorkelling, elephant polo, cane toad racing, Wellington wanging (it’s not what you think). The possibilities are endless!
Have a picnic. A sunny day, a strategically placed picnic basket, a blanket, that perfect spot (the one that all those other wannabe picniccers haven’t caught onto yet) and some good company is all you need for a day you’ll never forget. Oh, and don’t forget the bubbly…
Learn to waltz. Or tango, foxtrot, salsa, dougie, breakdance, ballroom, whatever. It’s great that you can do the robot, and that your funky chicken brings all the boys to the yard. But sometimes it helps to bring some old-school flavour - not to mention class - to the dance floor.
Go to the zoo - or the aquarium, aviary, etc. There are over a million species of animals, wild and wonderful, great and small. You spend most of your time around some weird hairless bipeds who like to look at glowing rectangles all day. Go find some more interesting specimens and see what they’re up to.
Throw a costume party. It could be a gathering of pirates, or famous movie stars, or mythological figures, or a live version of The Lion King, or just general free-for-all. Get suited up and get the party started.
Make your own wine. All you really need is fermented fruit, water, sugar, yeasts, pectins and patience - and some specialised equipment and expert guidance, of course, to ensure that you put together a flavourful intoxicant and not a deadly toxic liquid that tastes like something off the bottom of your shoe..
Take a roadtrip. Pack some padkos, bring along a camera, pile some pals into your trusty chariot, and go wherever the road takes you. Bonus Fun: Make a mixtape/CD/whatever of all those old favourites, the meaningful theme tracks to your life. Play it along the way and enjoy the gentle teasing that ensues.
Clean up your act. Pour yourself a nice hot bath (don’t skimp on the bubbles) and settle down with a good book, and don’t get out until you’re all wrinkled and pruny. And dude, have you seen your car lately? Wash that thing!**
Alright, that’s about it for now. Time for me to get my freedom on and...hey, what are you still doing here? Stop reading my rants and go live some life - just tell your boss I said you needed the time off...
*Do not eat that. Trust me.
**Bonus Fun: Wear something...interesting...while doing it and give your better half (or the neighbours) something to think (or laugh) about.