I am sitting in my room, again... Nothing is changed. I am once again lonely, having nothing in the world but myself. Blinking, I wonder what is wrong with me. Is it a wrong wire in my brain? Is it a genetic defect I need to cut out of me? I am unsure as I move around the room.
Glancing at the soft light of the screen, nothing on it just a blank page with the words this copy is not genuine, and a smiley face of the messenger staring at me.
Blinking, I wonder if I should care. Why care if the others do not? I never knew what to say in the right times, I was never a great thinker or witty and smart. Things like why would someone even care or bother even to chat with me go trough my head. Why would someone willingly spend time with me knowing he would just end up bored and sleepy?
I sigh as I again look at the screen. My mind continues to race ever more, ever more. I try to be good and nice and I never want to hurt anyone but somehow I fear I hurt people. I make them sad. Like a radiating misery spreading around me that envelops and devours all the happiness that comes within a 100 meters of me.
I glance once more knowing there is nothing there. I am alone, I am forgotten, I am no one. An empty page in the book of life that should not have even been started.
A wet nose presses against my hand. I look up and smile as I slide my hand over the furry head. Always found it strange how animals know when we need them, when they need to offer us some little support and love to say cheer up.
For a moment I cheer up and look at the eyes that stare at me. I smile sadly knowing those are not the ones I want to see. A sad smile for a moment only because I will be damned if I let anyone see me like that.
People have more problems, more issues and more heartaches than I would ever have. I will just close my eyes and hope. Hope beyond hope that when I open them the screen won't be empty...