“Let’s Play Pirates”

“Arrr! Ya scallywag. Whot be ye up to?”

(Hi Pete! How’s it going?)

“Avast ye mate! We set sail fer the Spanish Main.”

(You wanna play pirates?)

“Here be me boat matey. Ship shape she is and ready ta sail the seven seas.”

(Like the raft I built?)

“She be manned with the finest Buccaneer crew in this here port.”

(The guys want to play too.)

“Put yer backs into it you scurvy dogs. Batten down the hatches and hoist the Mizzen Main. Raise the Jolly Roger!”

(Lets push the raft into the water and hook that old sheet onto this two by four.)

“Ho maties! There be a storm a brew’n. Wind is out of the North and I feel a gale upon me face.”

(It’s starting to drizzle some. I think I feel a slight breeze.)

“She’s take’n a beating mates. She’ll not take much more.”

(This raft sucks it’s coming apart.)

“Abandon ship you Scurvy dogs. It’s every man fer himself.”

(Looks like we’re all going to get wet.)

“Swim ya scallywags or it’ll be a trip ta Davy Jones’s Locker fer sure.”

(We all stand up in the two feet of water and walk to shore.)

“See here lads! This be Treasure Island.”

(We’re right back where we started.)

“Well look whot we have here mates, a wench. And she be tote’n loaves of bread, a side of beef and Rum.”

(My mom sent my little sister over with Baloney sandwiches and soda.)

“Take ‘er boys. We can ransom her fer loot.”

(She can play too if she wants.)

“Cast yer eyes upon this lads. It be a map ta treasure.”

(It’s a page torn out of a notebook with a dotted line scribbled on it in red crayon.)

“X marks the spot ya landlubbers. Here we be dig’n fer Gold Doubloons.”

(Remove the blanket off of the shoebox, Ok.)

“Cast yer eyes upon the riches of the Spanish Main lads.”

(Inside the box there’s three pennies, two Chucky Cheese Pizza tokens and a plastic ring from a box of Cracker Jacks.)

“We be richer than the king of England maties. Let’s be head’n ta the nearest port fer a spot of Rum ta sell’abrate our good fortune.”

(Can we get some more soda at your house Pete?)

“Arrrgh! Ta’marrow we sail inta the future.”

(Maybe we can play Space men tomorrow.)