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Miss Ms.Depression

My dreams consist of torturous realities

I dream dreams most would consider nightmares

With war and gore

But they’re actually just a recap of what happened

The day before

I used to sleep with a peace that can only be achieved by a child

Who can’t see the world and its inevitable tragedies

But now I’m just kept awake by a fiend inside of me

She’s like the pied piper if you ask me

Luring the children out of safety with a promising melody

She’s a siren that tells me I deserve to bleed and that gashes are a beautiful thing

She sings

No

She SHRIEKS

That a blade will make people care

It’s not fair, I’m left crying

And gasping for air

It’s like Maya isn’t even there

People aren’t caring they’re just staring

YOU MONSTROUS BITCH

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BODY AND PSYCHE?

She simply laughs.

You know you need me

You’re fat worthless ugly

I sigh and crawl back to her side

I can’t escape until I commit suicide

Even if I was finally free and she departed from me (hypothetically)

I’ll have my memories

Plaguing my future with future shame

How do I explain this to my son, my boss, my acquaintances?

That I did this everyday

I would write “Woe, is me” poems and sonnets

While crimson would stain the paper as I wrote upon it

I was so fond of it

That my entire body would become an elegy

Why am I referring to this war in past tense

As if this impervious fence has been lifted?

How must I refer to this insane echoing in my brain? Does she have a name?

I look in the mirror and I call her self hatred

I look to those of a psychiatric profession

They call her depression

They prescribe medication and try to kill her

And strangely I miss her

It's like a syndrome where a hostage

Falls in love with their captor

I miss Ms. Depression

I want her.



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