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See Saw Soul

I'm fine but some days it's hard to live with the see saw that is my mind

my soul to use any word
spirals around and I cry
backed into a corner
it just wants to fly

it loves and hates
longing for space
to live in peace not
run in circles and race

envying others lives
watching them spin
happy and content
why is my skin so thin

a recipe for happiness
does it even exist here
the entirety of my life
searching drowning in fear

no more doctors nor pills
a formula not found that road
hurting myself same old pattern
searching how to stop that mode

your love withheld from me
a self-prophecy come true
my brain not trustworthy
it tells me I don't deserve you

it was a matter of time
you've tired of my mess
why are you still here
you deserve more not less

watching you try and sigh
I hurt myself some more
how do I fix things now
this doesn't feel like before

being alone my destiny
is that now my fate
I only want one thing
don't let me see hate

I know asking for more
is not my right today
please love me again
before I fade away

 

 

 

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