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Tides of Doubt

Doubt and disbelief...

Tidal flow

Ebb and fall

Like the beating of my heart

From strong to faint

In an eerie lance of muted light

Jealousy rises up in my absence

And I lose my nerve

I teeter as solid foundation

Crumbles under me once more

And I doubt.

I see the words,

I see the fluttering hearts

I witness with envy

The batting of eyelashes and

The smirking of smiles

Directed at you

And I have to wonder

Can I truly believe?

Space reaches out

Insurmountable

Between two hearts

That are meant to beat for each other

But can that distance

Be thrown so easily aside

When one does not know

Deep down, in their secret

Heart of hearts

If they truly

Believe?

Is it simply the fear

Of being unworthy

Of feeling as though,

No matter how many times you hear

No matter how many times they say

You are just never enough

In your own mind

And you lose that piece of yourself

That says you belong.

What then to do with a feeling you despise?

What then to do when your heart sinks

And beats with sickening dread,

With loss

And the perception of being

Nothing more than

A fleeting wisp of fancy...
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