You always asked how you became mine, I decided to tell you by words from my personal diary, my lovely. By now I am long gone, and you have an amazing and terrible journey ahead of you. Maybe this will help you. I love you with all of my heart, Darling, and may you always have courage and strength, for you will definitely need it.
Love, Cecilia, your guardian.
It all started on the beach. I don't know how, but I chose to start over. I was sick of living with my parents and little sister, Adriana. I loved them, but I wanted my own life. So I set out to find new things, more adventurous ways of life, and more importantly, love. Little did I know that I was taking a one way trip to a hellhole...
As I drove down street 125 I sang along to lyrics that I had absolutely no idea existed. I turned over the shell that I took with me from Mangrove Beach, it was glistening in the sunlight, the curves made a conch shell look, yet it seemed more special, like it had purpose...What am I talking about? It's a freaking shell for goodness sake. I scoffed at myself and turned my attention back to the road, everything after that was hazy, I don't remember much of it. But I do remember a car, a Volkswagen to be precise, colliding with mine, glass shattering over me, the car swerving, my eye feeling a horrific amount of terrible pain...
After that it just seemed impossible that I could've ended in a predicament like that, and no, that doesn't mean that I died, if that was so then I wouldn't be telling my short story, now would I? However, the people that were in the car that crashed into mine, were indeed dead, except for one. A little girl, around the age of 5, she was in the front seat and had been too little so the airbag had killed her. The mother and father, I suppose, were also dead. But, a noise pricked my ears. It was the strains of a baby crying. I turned my head to the back of the car, and in a cotton-material baby seat, sat a gorgeous little baby girl. I could tell it was a girl by the expensive linen dress she was wearing. She was so utterly beautiful. My right eye that stung before bled in pain, it was becoming blind, and I knew it.
I awed at her and picked her up. I looked around for any sign of civilization, but there wasn't for miles, we were alone out there, right before sundown. I soothed the baby and began to walk, I don't know how I found the strength, with my injuries. I thought that I had broken a few fingers, but I kept on going. By the next morning the bleeding had stopped and my eye had shut itself from the blood, the throbbing pain had sobered. I was in absolute glee when I spotted the first sight of civilization, the baby screamed from hunger and she had gotten tired of my soothing. It was then that I realized the blood drizzling from her left ear. If only I could just reach the civilization...
Her name is Sagara, meaning 'ocean'. Since her parents died I had been granted custody of her because I saved her, it was a yearly process. I named her ocean because of the shell I had from the beach the day I saved her, at the time it was perfect. My eye never healed so I could only see with one. I married a wonderful man, Kyle, was his name. Sagara hates me. She always swears and curses me and it makes me feel terrible. I can't blame her, I'm not her real mother. She gets embarrassed by me and herself, you see, she is missing an ear, and her class mates make fun of her because of it, and of course, because of her "mother's" missing eye and permanent injuries.
I wish I had never made that choice to start over, I love Sagara, and I may have saved her, but then again it was because of me that her parents and her sister aren't alive anyway, isn't it? If I hadn't made that choice to start over, then they would all be alive and Sagara wouldn't have that missing ear. And I love Kyle, but he would be better off without me, we all know that, all I'm doing is keeping him from accomplishing his dreams.
If only I hadn't started over, then how would my life have turned out? Would this one be better? Having a husband that doesn't love you, - not really, anyway - a daughter - that's not even your daughter - that hates that you're alive, and a missing eye with bonus injuries. If I had a choice, would I start that day at the beach all over again, and not leave in that car?
The answer was with an old box. I hadn't looked at it since I moved into the house, it was too depressing. When I had gone to the hospital when Sagara was still an infant and we had just been in the car accident, they sent out some people to find the cars and move them from the road, they came back with a box of belongings. Including a shell and a set of keys. The keys were for the car and my parents old home. And the shell was from the beach. I had two choices. The first was to throw them away. Or to backtrack, to where it all started....
And that's exactly what I did. I went back to Mangrove Beach with Kyle and Sagara and showed them my old life. I found out that my parents and my little sister had moved away to New Zealand and I guessed that they thought that I was dead now. But I wasn't. I checked a few old agreement papers that stated that I was the owner of the house that was now in rent, by law I was. I still had the keys, and I made a choice that changed my life forever. I moved back in, with Sagara and Kyle, of course.
At the time it seemed right, it was perfect.
I was wrong.
By Josephine Gunther.
