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He Called You Darlin'

One more time

It's been so lonely, you are thinking, and this happens. These simple words make you hope, it might be. You always recognize your own hope appearing.

"Hello darlin'." That's what he said. He's flirting, you consider. It startles you a little. It's been awhile. At least, since it wasn't someone that was overbearing, rude. Yes, you wonder, is this one going to be rude and mean.

You don't think you can take that again. The tricks. The using. After you have opened up and exposed yourself once more. Shown who you are.

In your heart you know you are still so young. You feel like a child often. And want to go back to when it was so fun and you were happy. But you know you are thoroughly grown up when you need to be. Just deciding when to be is complicated, you realize.

Is it even worth trying anymore. You have always lived optimistically and then considered that a weakness. It seems to have been, to you, when you examine the results.  

But you know in your heart you are ever so hopeful. And lonely. You know that, right? You're still lonely. You may not think it but you feel it. You tell yourself you can live with it.

He seems so strong. And sure. And nice. Nice. You giggle inside. That's silly. They have all been nice. At first. Stupid word.

But he is. Okay, you think, he's sweet. Nice and sweet.

And he is flirting. You know, because you are flirting, as well. You have always been good at that. At least, you always thought you were. But maybe you're stupid. Silly. Letting yourself be fooled.

Fooled. You know you have been fooled so many times. 

You know you are not stupid. You aren't. Even smart people, scientists and people like that, can be fooled. You are not stupid, you tell yourself.

And he is different. That just seems so clear. Before, you remember, you took chances, letting yourself hope without really knowing. Knowing inside. You let yourself make the hope. But this time the feeling is so different. You examine it and it's so different from the way it has felt other times.


Okay, you tell yourself. 

You want to try. You are sure that you will be okay.

"Haven't been called that in a long time. Are you flirting with me?" 

You are trying it again.



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