Standing here on my own and having stood the test of time and finally took steps that were defined, and knowing that free will and the truth in life are the greatest gifts we all were given yet at times they don’t seem to fit. So I am going down, deep down that only road that I seem to know and follow through this Vale of Tears called life, and wanting to go and be in those Highlands and hear the sounds that can take all the pain away and cleanse the mind. As I still find myself looking to the night skies and trying to see the beginning of time and try to live each hour of every day. Once hopes were set high and now broken promises litter the ground as they lie in the sand and time keeps moving on, and they assign the blame that seems to reflect back on me as if I were to seem to fade into the machinery. To become as they want part of the scenery as I feel those words never said fall to lie there in the dust.
Still I watch from the dark side of the street through those open curtains as they sit talking and laughing. Yet I confound them by not vanishing like smoke or moving on down the line as they truly wish would happen, and inside, outside, nowhere is home so I’ll head on down that road and not live in the shadows I was consigned to. And in their eyes I know there might stand a new solitary stone in that old graveyard with my name on it, but I will stop along the way and send every sunset and slow dance we missed in a package sealed with a kiss to you. As I head to those Highlands I may be looking as if I am bent in defeat but I am only marking time with each step taken, and avoiding obstacles placed in my way after riding that jitterbug ride as I head away from all they claim I don’t understand. I said there would be emotion(s) but then again I wasn’t specific as to what they were and when they would hit.
Looking at those lines upon my hands and wondering them if I should believe them after all the lies said? And knowing as I pass that old cemetery, those in the earth and under the earth are lying there patiently waiting, and though they might be forgotten there may be a day when some of them won't be forgotten as hope is always eternal. For if it isn’t eternal then how can the damned in Hell be able to dream of Heaven as I ask for guidance from above? Not going to live out my life in those complicated shadows that I was cast into as I stood on the dark side of the road, as I try to hold back the darkness that falls at noon that is able to eclipse all and cause the lamp of laughter to die. Having been called stupid, a fool, and worse by him and them and still I tried to do everything and stayed cool.
Thanking disillusionment, consequence, and silence as connections are finally being cut I never had to think of, and the days might be short and time might be running out here in the autumn of things but I have the will to carry on. Having carried guilt at times and felt hollow inside like my heart and life had been pulverized and in the past a bottle quieted all, and it’s time to stop blaming all as I fight tooth and nail for each day and at times for my soul as the fight is never ending.
As Liberty quietly laughed as she pirouetted Illusion spun and cast it's net when I believed their lies passing as promises, and now feeling the tar warm beneath my feet knowing that nothing in reality is everything.
Hearing the old cadence count as I move steadily down the road moving forward in my own heat, and looking to the skies and knowing that you are there as I bring you with me as I head to those Highland places. And stop running from all those things and try with your help to have my days light up the nights as questions arise. As each passing mile weakens their power as I hold on to my own faith and belief(s) as I take it all in stride, and wondering who truly cares or if anyone of them ever really cared as the signs are being seen now.
Knowing if they ever saw my thoughts and dreams they would have me on the gallows or my head in the guillotine. And ca rrying you with me as I make my way through the turning of twilight knowing that I need to be in the Highlands, and though it might seem as if I might either be running on ice or walking on broken glass and will end up where I’m headed.
Knowing I will at least succeed and to win at least once against the games they play is a fine feeling to have and hold, and out here in the turning of twilight as those first stars above slow turn from cherry red to blue as I enter the foothills, as I seem to be seeing what looks like a burning fire ahead and looks like the light would as if it were at the end of a tunnel.
Feeling a cool breeze on my face and breathing in that heavy smell of pine that’s in the air, as all feels like it is in perfect harmony as I pass by those lakes of silence nearby that hold and hide heartaches. Now letting that Highland breeze direct me where to go as I turn into it like an aircraft carrier about to launch. And wondering if they will ever practice what they preach or if they will ever turn the other cheek? Or do you say a little prayer for me at the break of day when you rise? As I fight to keep faith and that love I found alive.
Copyright February 2009 – 5: Timberwolf International LTD.