I went to the ocean the other day.

To get in I had to pay.

Into the lot I drove;

Between the cars I wove.

I looked and looked; found the perfect spot.

Got out of my car. It sure was hot.

The sun shone brightly.

I treaded very lightly.

My feet were hot when they hit the wet grass.

I slipped and fell ending up on my ass.

My blanket, towel and books got wet.

I was at the beach so why fret.

My girl stood there laughing at me.

I looked at her, but all I heard was the sea.

She reached down to give me a hand.

All I really wanted was to lie on the sand.

So slowly I moved as up I got,

And raced on hot feet at a trot.

The children were yelling; I heard someone shout,

“ Hey! Mister you're in the way, watch out! ”

I turned toward the voice to see,

A huge young man bearing down on me.

Onward he ran at top speed.

I moved aside reached out his ball I freed.

At the waves his ball I tossed.

I was in no mood to be bossed.

A gull screeched and flew by, making me stop.

Suddenly I froze, because I felt a glop.

The damn gull had spotted my head.

His droppings in my hair, it spread.

I bent over to gather my things;

All I saw was flapping wings.

The birds from the beach had invaded.

I stopped to listen as they serenaded.

Instead of song or some sweet ditty,

They cawed and screeched like birds in the city.

Now I really had enough.

It was to be nice and easy, but ended tough.

The tide came quickly up the shore.

All my stuff was there no more.

I watched and stood there down trodden,

As all my stuff with sea water got sodden.

I gathered up everything. I got it all.

Laid it on my blanket and wrapped it into a ball.

I picked it up turned ready to leave,

There's my girl she's flirting with Steve.

Off the sand to my car I trudged.

Steve and my girl barely budged.

I got to my car completely besotted.

Looking now it had been spotted.

The birds were quietly flying around.

Up they flew not making a sound.

I got into my dirty car to leave;

My girl waved bye to me, staying with Steve.

So next time you say to the beach lets go.

My answer to you will be an emphatic NO!