“There’s a bluebird in my heart that

Wants to get out,

But I’m too tough for him,

I say, stay in there, I’m not going

To let anyone see

You”

Charles Bukowski

When loneliness became a part of me

In such a way that others could not see.

My heart forgot to feel, it hurt so much,

And locked itself up tight against a touch.

The bluebirds came to nest, they lost their way.

They could no longer fly, they had to stay.

With time I learnt to lock them up as well

To stop the pain that dwelt in every cell.

Mind spinning circles, as my soul felt gaunt,

It swept away the hopes, desires, and want.

And still, the bluebirds questioned all as one

The choices that I’d made, the said and done

I second guessed them all, decisions made,

But couldn’t change what, the game I played

My bluebirds often told me, yes, indeed

Of someone who could fill my ev’ry need

The bluebirds always wanted to be free,

And wanted to deplete the hole in me.

They spoke to me of one who’d show the way

Who’d soothe the fear and take the pain away

Who’d see what I ignored and keep at bay

The doubt he’d stay for now and ev’ry day

The first day that we met there was no fear

Excitement, nervousness, yes, that was clear

The taunting, teasing, just as in a farce

You even ticked me, you fucking arse

To fall in love, not real, upon first sight

But something clicked in me, to my delight

Now unbeknown to me, you flicked inside

What no one else had moved, what would beside

Since you had said G’day and grabbed my heart,

Together we should stay, no more apart

The fire in me has mixed with the fire in you,

And unicorns its not, more rainbows hue

So, holy fuck, the fireworks have spread

With pain inflicted and the words we’ve said

You’ve been a fucking arse, the anger came;

We are not perfect, both of us to blame

Those bluebirds yet may flutter, fly and dart

But you still dwell down deep within my heart.