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"The Great Horsefly Steeplechase"
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Published 10 years ago


Ant arrived at the racetrack to watch the big race,

the main event was the Grand Steeplechase.

Insects were saddling their favourite steeds,

they’d been training them hard, jumping ditches and reeds.

The steeds were paraded before the crowd,

all were cheering very loud.

A swarm of wasps took to the sky,

then buzzed off to bet on their chosen horsefly.

The beetles arrived after playing Bingo,

they put all their money on a horsefly called Ringo.

The worms, they fancied Compost Kate,

and just hoped she’d get out of the starting gate.

The ants, they fancied Sticky Mickey,

with this line up you can’t be picky.

A hundred to one – a rank outsider,

But they were pals with Neville the rider.

The houseflies said “look we’re in luck”

and landed in some fresh horse-muck.

“Lets bet big money, give it some wellie,

we’ll put the lot on Smelly Nelly”

The flag went down, the gates flew open,

the crowd were silent not a word was spoken.

The horseflies bolted round the track,

they jumped the fences, the whips went crack

Sticky Mickey took the lead,

the crowd were amazed at his turn of speed.

The ants were screaming at high pitch,

he only had one more fence and ditch.

The houseflies shouted words so rude,

their horsefly had stopped off for some food.

A Donna kebab with chilli sauce,

It sat and ate it on the racecourse.

Ringo plodded at the rear,

he’d been down the pub and had some beer.

The beetles were not happy and began to jeer,

Ringo turned green and was feeling queer.

Sticky Mickey reached last fence,

the ants were feeling very tense.

It cleared the fence, it just scraped over,

but then it tripped up on some clover.

Neville the jockey tumbled down,

he had failed to get the winners crown.

There were no winners for this race,

all had fallen out of grace.

Out popped a can of mosquito spray

There’s no more racing here today!

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